Golden light bathed the landscape as I stepped out of my Xterra. It had been several days since that conversation I had with my dad, and I finally felt I'd process it enough to bring my thoughts to the Lord in the seclusion of nature in the valley. 

For once, it was cool enough to wear a light hoodie. Swift gusts of wind stirred up by the setting sun and a cold front, hissed through the waist-high grass as I walked uphill against it. I reveled in the sweet scents of prairie grass and wildflowers the wind brought to me. I could even catch faint whiffs of a couple red cedars planted on the ridgetop, the scents of which got stronger and stronger as I got closer to them. But, aside from the wind, there was no other noise. It seemed like the birds and bugs had taken shelter from its strong gusts, or at least their noises were drowned out by the wind as it whistled past my ears. 

At the crest of the hogback, I was stopped mid-stride, not just by the breathtaking views from up there. But, for the second time in a week, I felt His awesome presence. However, along with the presence of God, I also felt the presences of my grandparents. On one side, I was convinced my grandma Shirley was stood there. On the other side stood my grandpa Bob. I was completely frozen in awe, overwhelmed by the strong and loving presences of both the Lord and my paternal grandparents. 

In my mind's eye, I could perfectly picture my grandparents standing on either side of me, just admiring God's creation with me. It was so vivid it was almost scary. A part of me wondered if I was going crazy. But, as soon as I had that little thought, in my mind's eye, I saw my grandpa point to a little spot on the opposite hogback, just below a small Red Cedar growing among some white sandstone boulders. For a moment, I couldn't see what my grandpa saw. But, then it moved its head. 

A huge mule deer buck was bedded down exactly where I saw my grandpa Bob point to in my mind's eye, instantly dispelling my worries that I was actually losing my mind. My heartrate instantly sky-rocketed and I huffed like I'd just sprinted a mile. The emotions and physical sensations I felt at that moment remain indescribable. It was as though God had brought my soul up to heaven, or perhaps brought heaven down to me. But, as soon as heaven touched my soul, it was gone, along with the souls of my grandparents. Yet, the buck remained. 

My emotions remained intense. I couldn't believe what was going on. All I could do to help myself remember that moment was try to get a couple pictures of that buck bedded down on the hogback, his reddish-brown body barely visible to my eyes, let alone my phone's. But, I did get those pictures, and I will forever hold those grainy, barely-comprehensible photos of that buck on the hogback, near and dear to my heart. I will hold them as a reminder of the evening I got to show my grandma Shirley and grandpa Bob just a fraction of the place I come to connect to God and keep my body healthy. 

But, God wasn't quite done with me just yet. As I hiked (or more accurately, staggered) back to the Xterra, I knew in my heart that I, and my father, were both ready to rekindle our relationship. To heal our wounds. To bury our hatchets. To reconnect as all fathers and daughters should. 

While I'm not sure what lies ahead in terms of how Dad and I will go about reconciling with each other, I'm no longer afraid or even hesitant to do so. And, that's fucking huge! It's something I never would've entertained the thought of just six months ago. Yet, thanks to God, the impossible is, indeed, possible.

Also, I think I can comfortably answer the question, "Is there life after death?", with, "Yes, there is, in fact, life after death."