Still, my journey with Christ has just begun, about a year or so into it. Most of those in my life don't know this, because I am purposefully silent about it. The vast majority of my walk with God is completely private. Between Him and I alone. This doesn't mean I never bring it up and share it with others. Clearly, if that was the case, I would've never sat down to write this account knowing others would read it. But, as Christ explained in Matthew chapters six and seven, and mentioned in letters such as Romans and Corinthians, personal matters of faith ought to remain between the individual and their Creator. 

I am still too new to this newfound faith of mine, and far too skittish, to start scoping out a church to call home. That, and at the time of writing this (April 2021), while I have been fully vaccinated against covid-19 for quite some time now, I'm still living quite nomadically. I am not yet ready to settle down in a new church. But, I trust that time will tell when it is time for me to hunt for a church to call home. There are many different churches near both of my houses in Gig Harbor, Washington and Ken Caryl, Colorado. I'm confident that I'll find a church that is of sound doctrine wherever I go. 

In the meantime, I've still been asking the "big questions" without fear or holding back any punches. I still have lots and lots of questions to wrestle with, and I'm sure when I come across an answer that actually answers the damn question, it will be replaced by five more equally challenging questions. This is a good thing. Contrary to what many Christians say (particularly those I grew up around), questions and doubts aren't the devil's attempts to pit us against our Creator. Instead, doubts and questions are essential for growth. Even fervent anti-theists seriously ponder if there is a God, and often doubt their beliefs (or lack thereof).

So far, these questions of mine have led me down some incredibly interested yet daunting paths. I have just started delving into some really heavy content involving biblical hermeneutics (the study of interpreting ancient texts according to their ancient contexts), spirituality, other religions, ancient Hebrew and Greek, science, and all sorts of heavy topics. There are some topics that I've understood quite easily. For example, it isn't hard to roughly translate the raw ancient Hebrew of the bible into modern English using the internet. But, more than half the time I'm reading Dr. Michael Heiser's books on the spiritual realm, I have absolutely no idea what I'm actually reading. It's not that Dr. Heiser sucks at explaining things (he's really good at making academic material readable for the layperson), I just am not quite ready for it in my spiritual journey. The time will soon come, however. I'm confident I'll be able to one day understand the spiritual realm and the symbolism found all over the Old and New Testaments as the Bible actually explains it. 

This thirst for knowledge has also made me a lot less hesitant to go beyond my comfort level. College no longer seems like a place I'll never make it in. If I can figure out how to translate Hebrew into English, and find the time and energy to wrestle with big questions few adults much older than myself can deal with, without the aid of professors and academic advisors, then I think I'll survive college just fine.