But, this new change, as awesome was it was, didn’t come without a few costs. The minor costs include my eyesight and my anxiety. Both things have gotten significantly worse since starting Trikafta. I can still see relatively okay without my glasses, but I can't read anything greater than arm's length from me, and objects get "choppy" starting at five yards away from me. 

My anxiety, while better than it was prior to me taking anti-depressants, is still gnarly. I still have a tendency to freak out over every little thing, and severely limit myself out of fear and anxiety. Logically, I know that I'm perfectly okay and capable doing a lot of things I couldn't do pre-Trikafta, such as swimming, camping, and going to college (I know I've been going to college for four semesters now, but I still have a lot of doubts and what-ifs). But, I still harbor a lot of old habits and thoughts from my past; habits and thoughts that kept me alive for over eighteen years. Which stand in my way of... well... living. 

Indeed, I don't know how to live! 

After all, I’d spent my entire life up to Trikafta preparing myself for an early death. I never expected to make it to twenty, let alone surpass my thirties, let alone make it to old age. Yet, thanks to Trikafta, I will make it to old age, assuming I didn’t get struck by lightning or get run over by a speeding semi. The threat of an early death is no longer greater for me than it is for anyone else my age, and that… well… it brings about a lot of complicated thoughts and emotions. Complicated thoughts and emotions I really dare not to voice to anyone.