Note: This piece may feel repetitive/circular in some ways. Know that’s largely intentional, as that’s how my mind currently deals with the all of the complicated feelings and thoughts surrounding Trikafta. 

Sometimes, I miss the comfort of knowing that I’ll have an early death. Prior to Trikafta, I was almost certain that I’d be dead before I reached forty, which gave me around twenty years to live. This gave me comfort, because I knew that my time was short, and therefore spent my time doing what I could (given my condition) to make that time worthwhile. 

In a way, having an early death gave my life more meaning, more beauty, and, in a strange way, more peace. After all, I had a pretty good idea of how I was gonna die. In ten to twenty years, my Cystic Fibrosis would progress to the point that I could no longer live. I’d die in hospice, surrounded by loved ones, and in no real pain thanks to morphine and other opiates. Of course, my death wouldn’t be pretty, but it would be peaceful and expected. 

But, then… another unexpected miracle happened. One that literally nobody saw coming (it was very suddenly approved by the FDA one day; coincidentally the day I remember rage-praying to God, begging for a cure to my pain as it was worse than ever). A few months later, just after Christmas of 2019, I got my first box of Trikafta, and the threat of an early death was erased literally overnight. 

It’s damn near impossible to properly put into words what it was like to experience my body, quite literally, transform into something new. What it was like to essentially experience a rebirth. Two weeks after taking my first dose of Trikafta, my body was completely different. Over eighteen years’ worth in built-up mucus was expelled from my body. For the first time ever, the inflammation throughout my body reduced to the point that it was completely reversed… and then some. I had no more joint pain, no more migraines, no more tightness around my chest. 

Even my pancreas was healed. Not completely, but enough to where I no longer had to worry about Cystic-Fibrosis-Related-Diabetes (CFRD), and I was able to reduce my Creon (enzyme medication) intake by one or two pills per meal. Gaining and maintaining weight was no longer a constant struggle; I no longer needed to shove 4,000-5,000 calories of food down my throat each day to stay at a healthy weight. 

I also gained a lot of muscle, especially during the first six months of being on Trikafta. As my strength increased, so did my tolerance for cardio exercise and weight-lifting. My hair thickened, my hands and feet warmed up, my skin became less pale and blue, my toes and fingers became less clubbed. My base PFTs shot up by over twenty percent as my lungs were cleared of mucus completely. For the first time in my life, my sinuses completely cleared, enabling me to smell and taste things like never before.

The list of miracles goes on, all thanks to three daily pills.