There's some benefits that come with having trust issues. For one, I don't trust my doctors with absolutely everything. They like to administer antibiotics, sometimes for just "preventative" reasons. But the issue often is, antibiotics do more harm than good. Many people with Cystic Fibrosis were destroyed by antibiotics, which is why they ended up dying in the hospital. It wasn't the disease itself that was the most destructive. It was the medicine used to fight the disease that ultimately killed them.
Another benefit is that I'm usually left alone in public. I know this might piss some people off, but clothes and posture do usually matter in public. I stand up tall and walk with purpose. I'm pretty boring to look at since I don't flaunt my beauty or show myself off. I'm not unaware of my surroundings in public at all. In fact, I'm so aware that a leaf being moved an inch on the ground behind me is often enough to make me stare at it. I sometimes spook at my own shadow, but it's better than being unaware of the potential creep lurking in the woods. I've never been leered at, followed, or catcalled, which I chalk up to the fact that I never wear makeup, I always wear the same jeans, T shirts, hoodies, and caps pretty much everyday, and I really don't care about my appearance as long as I'm clean and comfortable. (tie back into trust)
My past has also taught me caution, and that caution has probably saved my life. I haven't trusted my doctors with my life, and I question every pill and treatment they recommend. Because of this, antibiotics haven't had the chance to destroy my body, and make resilient infections stronger.
Sometimes that caution can get in the way, such as when I was in Boston and already late for the conference on the first day. We were 15 minutes late because my mom spent 5 minutes trying to convince me the door to the conference room was in the alleyway. She eventually just dragged me by my arm the best she could with my heels literally digging into the ground. While my mom was pretty mad over that, at the same time, she seems to be pretty glad I'm like that sometimes. She can trust me to be safe, and not have to worry so much about me when I'm alone in public.
My mom knows I'll never get into drugs, alcohol, or any of that stuff. She knows I'll call her if I find myself in trouble or feeling unsafe. When I go with my dad or someone else, where I'm far away from home, my mom knows I'll always return home happy and healthy. In the past, my cousins have thrown massive parties in the middle of the Minnesota countryside. I never stayed past midnight, and turned down every drink offering I got. Even when I'm on the dirtbike, I know my limits and what can possibly happen, and I take every precaution possible when I know I'll be riding hard. Sure, crashes do happen. They always do. But I never injured myself enough to end up at the ER, and God forbid I ever do.
