Several days later, I decided to face one of my biggest fears. I’d wear my N95 into a Home Depot to help my grandpa get some lumber and some plants. He wanted to build some wooden boxes to plant flowers and strawberries in, and I wanted to build another bookshelf since my mom needed almost all of my other shelves for various reasons. Plus, the bookshelves I did still have were a little too small for my taller books and knick-knacks. So, I figured I’d put my energy and creativity to good use by building another shelf for myself. But, more importantly (at least to me), I was going to buy a few succulents and a clay pot for myself. My doctors finally gave me the green light to take care of my own houseplants, since Pseudomonas no longer posed such a serious risk to my health. I could also go swimming in hot tubs and own reptiles and fish as pets. But, before I did those greater things, I wanted to see how taking care of some houseplants fared for me. I’m not exactly known for having a green thumb, so I wondered if I’d kill my houseplants faster than my mom killed hers.

I know to the average person, taking care of a house plant isn’t a big deal. But, for reasons mentioned above, it was a huge deal for me. Per my doctors’ orders, I was going to a busy Home Depot in the midst of a global pandemic to pick up a bunch of house plants for myself. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this piece, this would’ve been unthinkable a year ago. But, thanks to Trikafta, I could now do it. Trikafta truly was an answered prayer. It was nothing short of miraculous!

To be honest, I was really afraid of going to Home Depot. My heart sank as I drove in circles around the parking lot. It took me awhile to find an empty parking spot, because there were so many people there. My grandpa could see the fear in my eyes as I began to question if this was really the best idea, and reminded me to stay calm and that everything would be okay. God was with us, we had masks, and the science regarding covid was amazingly reassuring for the both of us. Also, Home Depot was a huge store! We’d be outside in the garden center for most of the time, and it wouldn’t take us longer than fifteen minutes to find and collect the wood we needed for our projects. “Again,” my grandpa reiterated as we masked up, “We’ll be okay! We’ll be in and out in no time!”

Needless to say, my grandpa was right! We really were in and out in no-time, and came out just fine! I had my succulents and wood to build my shelf, and my grandpa had his flowers and wood to build the flowerbeds. The whole time we spent in that Home Depot, I was scared. But, I put on a brave face and continuously asked God for peace and courage, which He answered. A few times, I re-read the email my doctors sent out after my appointment, which they reminded me that I was not at greater risk of getting a severe covid infection than anyone else in my age group, and that the death rate was well below 1% for those my age. As for my grandpa, he was also not at high risk, even though he’s older. So, I didn’t need to worry about him either. 

My grandpa and I came out of that Home Depot triumphant. I had four eight foot by three foot planks of wood balanced on my shoulder, while my grandpa carried a bag full of plants and screws. The wood fit in the car just perfectly, and my grandpa made sure to set the plants down on the floor so they couldn’t topple over as we drove. Once everything was in the car, we got in, went a little crazy with the hand sanitizer, and hauled ass back to the house. 

At the house, I transplanted my succulents from their plastic cups into the clay pot. I had to use my hands to pack the soil down and keep the plants upright as I did so. The thought of catching Pseudomonas from that didn’t even cross my mind. I was no longer impacted by Pseudomonas like I once was. What was there to worry about? Truth is, I had to worry about not killing my succulents much more than I had to worry about catching Pseudomonas. Pseudomonas could no longer hurt me. I could still grow it, but I was too strong and healthy to be crippled by it. Trikafta more or less vaccinated me against Pseudomonas, among many other bacterial infections that once posed a severe risk to my physical health. 

I still can’t believe how far I’ve come since taking Trikafta. I remember when Pseudomonas almost killed me. Pseudomonas was the reason why I had to drop out of school and finish high school online. Pseudomonas was the reason why I was in so much pain and misery as I fought against it. It ruled my life almost more than CF did! But, then Trikafta came along, very unexpectedly. The FDA decided to expedite Trikafta's approval because its clinical results were so incredibly promising. Trikafta was approved, without warning, literally the same day and hour I sat in my car, cursing God for allowing my CF to progress as much as it did. If that ain’t an obvious answer from God, I don’t know what is. God used Trikafta to reveal Himself to me in the most epic way possible. That prayer ultimately led me into the relationship with God I now have!

While it’s great to have my physical health back, Trikafta gave me an even greater thing: a deep and loving relationship with God. 

Yes, life has been rough, and it will continue to be rough. I’ve always hated CF and considered it a curse. CF is not a blessing. I absolutely despise it. But, I can’t deny the obvious fact that CF enabled a lot of wonderful things to happen to me over the years, most notably leading me to an amazing group of friends I’ll probably know for life, and leading me into an even greater relationship with God. It’s been absolute hell, but I consider my time in hell refining.

Everyone who wishes to be with God in the end must be sanctified at first, and the process of sanctification often begins while we are still in the flesh. I consider CF to be the catalyst of my sanctification, and it has also taught me a lot about myself and the people around me. Without CF, I’d be an entirely different person, which is quite scary to think about. Even if given the chance to relive my life without this devastating condition, I wouldn’t take it. 

As devastating as CF has been, it is the reason I have faith in God. A few years ago, I never would've imagined that the source of my worst suffering would be the reason I came crawling back to God. Both CF and faith have intertwined themselves into one thing, at least in my view. I became a Christian because I survived CF, and I survived CF because I became a Christian. Nobody could pay me enough to relive my life without CF, because my relationship with God is worth so much more than anything else in existence and beyond.