Hannah and Ryder left a couple days after we got back from Breckenridge, and Clarke had to go back to work. I recovered from all of the excitement I had with my Canadian siblings. The rest of Spring Break was very relaxing. In fact, I was so relaxed, that I totally forgot about my sermon until I was just going to bed Tuesday night, where it hit me. Instead of getting up and spending all night preparing and worrying about it, I just hoped God would intervene when I needed Him most and guided my sermon. I had no idea what I was gonna do, but I figured I'd do just fine if I just winged it. 

The next morning came faster than it should've, and I realized I was not ready to give my sermon in just a few short hours. However, while I did my treatments, I flipped through my bible and I suddenly had a brilliant idea. I flipped through my bible until I found Romans. I skimmed through it, and highlighted the passages and verses I thought would be the most relevant. I figured I'd talk about how we, as Christians, are not bound by the laws of sin and death, and we cannot win God's love or approval. 

At school, I was surrounded by self-righteous Christians who liked to give me crap about how I was doing this, that, and the other wrong. Also, I hated wearing skirts and being looked down upon for being a tomboy. Sure, I was, and still am, a sinner. But, so is everyone else, including and especially the self-righteous Christians. After all, doesn't the Bible say our good works are like filthy rags, and we are saved by the grace of God, not by our good works? Not only that, but isn't there a verse, Matthew 7:3-5 to be exact, that calls out people for judging others? For the record, I still know we are called to repent, and I hate prosperity gospels just as much as anyone else, but radical self-righteousness is just as bad, if not worse than prosperity gospels. I've noticed that people who follow prosperity gospels are just ignorant, but most of those who are self-righteous think they know everything and are much harder to convince. 

I had an ornery, ear-to-ear grin as I continued to think my sermon through. I was still absolutely terrified of standing up in front of pews of people, but at the same time, I was excited to stamp out some of the flames of self-righteousness in that school. I wanted to prove to them that I was just as Christian as they were, I just didn't show it off for the world to see. Maybe then, I'd get some genuine respect from some people, rather than being treated like the rebellious student I really wasn't. Sure, everyone was nice to me most of the time, but they changed their attitudes as soon as I started challenging their views. There's a difference between genuine respect and the false respect I was given by many of the people at the school. They merely tolerated me, and I was tired of being simply tolerated. 

I finished my treatments, inhaled whatever quick and easy food I could find for breakfast, and got in the car to go to school. I still had an ornery smirk on my face, and when my mom asked me what was so funny, I just told her I was thinking of a stupid joke. My mom never shared my sense of humor, so she didn't ask for the details of my "joke". 

I still had two class periods before I had to give my sermon. When one of my friends asked what I was gonna do, I simply told her, "You'll see.", and shot her a smile. She looked confused for a minute, but then smiled back and nodded her head. My friends heard my rants about the school's self-righteousness before, and already inferred long before I did, that my sermon would have something to do about that. I wasn't gonna call out anyone specifically, or even use the words "self-righteous" in my sermon, but I was gonna talk about Romans 6 and 7, which are the chapters that talk about God's law and how Christians are not bound to it. I was, however, gonna use the school's Wednesday dress code as something we aren't obligated to follow because God doesn't care what we look like. He only cares about our hearts. 

When the time finally came, I nervously stepped up to the pulpit. I glanced around the room. I didn't see my grandpa (he had some unexpected things to do, so he couldn't attend), and it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Already, a couple teachers had their phones out and were filming. I hoped I could tell them later that I did not want to be up on Facebook, but I'd deal with it later. I had a sermon to give, and people patiently sat and waited for me to start talking. I took in a deep breath, and began by asking everyone to turn to Romans 6. 

They followed along as I read aloud Romans 6, and stopped every now and then to give some commentary. I kept my eyes down at my bible for the most part, only occasionally glancing up to make sure everyone was still with me. I talked about how we should strive to be perfect, but we'd never be perfect. I talked about how we shouldn't purposefully sin, but at the same time, we were not bound to God's law of the Old Testament, and could never be perfect. We were living in the New Testament times, after Christ died to revoke God's law. Therefore, we didn't need to follow God's old laws. We could eat pork and shellfish. We were not required to sacrifice animals or hold the Sabbath day. We could wear different clothing materials at a time, and it wasn't sinful for men to wear women's clothes or women to wear men's clothes. And, as I promised myself I'd do, I made sure that included wearing dress clothes to church. I got a few scowls from the congregation for that, but I just continued before anyone could say anything. 

I was getting increasingly nervous, and I was beginning to stutter more and more. I continued to talk about how we couldn't win our way to heaven by doing good deeds. We were still sinners, and thus our good works did not outweigh our bad works. In fact, our sin heavily outweighed our good works, and the only way we could get rid of our sin, was to follow and accept Christ into our hearts. Accepting Christ into our hearts requires no work, whatsoever. We only acted as though it did require work for the same reason we serve those who serve us; out of politeness and love, but not out of obligation. 

I explained that Christ's grace was offensive to us, because as humans, we expect good things to come from work, and we often look down upon those who get good things for free. God doesn't like it when we get so full of pride like that, and explained that's why pride is often called the deadliest sin. I even threw in Matthew 7:21 for good measure, which reads, "Not everyone who says to Me, "Lord, Lord", shall enter the kingdom of heaven."

Finally, to close my sermon, I said we still should repent when we know we have sinned, but we shouldn't expect to ever be perfect, or expect others to be perfect. And, to top things off, I ended with Luke 6:42, "How can you say to your brother, "Let me get rid of that speck from your eye", when you can't even see past the log that is in your own eye?"

When I was done, I simply closed my bible and got off the stage. A few people clapped, but not everyone did. I sat down in the pew behind everyone else, while a teacher stood up on stage and thanked me for my sermon, then dismissed us back to class. 

Fortunately, my sermon was fairly well-received, and while a few students said I missed a few minor things, the overall message was clear. I was just glad to get off that stage and back to my desk in the classroom. I didn't fail, but I'm not sure if I did a great job either. I didn't care though. I just wanted to forget about it, and during lunch, I made sure to let the teachers know I did not want to appear on Facebook. They said they already knew, and they only filmed me to show to other teachers around the school. 

Things didn't really change after that, but I felt a lot less anxious since I didn't have to go on stage anymore, and summer was less than two months away. People did seem to respect me more, in the sense they knew I knew the bible well. I just didn't bother to memorize verses or interpret it the same as they did, and I was probably coming off as annoying or even self-righteous myself. I was still often censored and labeled rebellious, but at least I was taken a little more seriously. However, that could've just been because summer wasn't far away, and everyone was more relaxed. I just learned to come to terms with the fact that not everyone's gonna like me, and just because some people don't like me, doesn't mean God doesn't like me.