Sure, it has taken me nearly ten years to get to this point. But, logically, I know that’s okay. It’s okay to be a bit “behind” in certain academic subjects, especially after all that I’ve been through (as much as I like to minimize and ignore my past struggles). 

Still, I struggle to not compare myself to my peers, because it’s simply natural for people to compare themselves to other people. I’ve been working on not comparing myself to others. However, that takes a lot of time and a lot of therapy. If I want to pass college Chemistry 1, I really don’t have much time. So, I have to weaponize my flaws against myself, in a way, in order to reassure myself that it’s okay to be a bit “behind” academically. 

In other words, if I’m gonna play the “comparison game”, I ought to compare myself to people who I actually respect and relate to. 

Dr. Tara Westover, the author of “Educated”, didn’t even know what the Holocaust was when she took her first history course at university. This led to her asking her professor, in front of an entire lecture hall, what the Holocaust was. Many of her peers were horrified by her question, thinking that she was one of those “Holocaust deniers”. In reality, Westover genuinely did not know that the Holocaust happened, because she grew up in an off-grid cabin where she was homeschooled by her religiously-zealous parents. 

Even so, Westover went on to get a PhD in history from Cambridge University! 

Obviously, me asking my peers to help me understand what an “ion” is, is far less embarrassing than what Westover went through. Moreso, I’m probably not the only student in the classroom who has only just figured out what an ion is, six weeks into the semester. 

For those as clueless as I was, an ion is an atom/molecule that is electrically charged, after losing or gaining one or more electrons. Electrons are negatively charged. Therefore, if a neutral atom ends up gaining an electron, it becomes negatively charged, and vice versa. However, electrons are very small compared to protons (positively charged particles) and neutrons (particles with no charge), so the addition or subtraction of electrons really doesn’t mess with the atomic mass of an element. 

Anyway…

Another person I ought to compare myself to (if I’m gonna play the comparison game) is Dr. Andrew Huberman. Dr. Huberman is a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford university. He has a podcast called the Huberman Lab where he teaches people about biology and chemistry in a way that makes sense. I first learned about Dr. Huberman from the Joe Rogan podcast. Then, he popped up again in Cameron Hanes’ podcast, where he learned how to shoot a bow for the first time. 

Dr. Huberman is not your stereotypical academic. Sure, he came from an academic family, but he got heavily into skateboarding and delinquency after his parents divorced. He really only got into academics after one of his athletic mentors told him to “…not be stupid like me…” and to “get an education”. That same mentor also apparently told Dr. Huberman, “PhD stands for Piled High and Deep.” but still threatened to kick his ass if he didn’t go for it. 

Long story short, that’s how Dr. Huberman discovered his love for biology of the brain, which is what got him through a PhD. 

Was Dr. Huberman “piled high and deep” for awhile? Probably. But did his hard work pay off in the end? Absolutely!