But every day, despite my doubts and my fears, I wake up in the mornings and give it my best. That’s the one thing I know I’ve always been good at: doing my best. 

Sure, my best is not always the best. But, not everyone can be the best at everything they do. I may never be the best student to ever step foot on CU Denver’s campus, but I always come to campus knowing that I’ll do my best. So long as I do my best, I can go to bed and sleep like a rock knowing that I did my best; I did everything I could with the resources I had, and I could give the rest to God. Therein lies a great deal of peace, and that’s also how one makes a great deal of progress in a short amount of time. 

Indeed, comparison is the thief of joy when one compares themselves to others. But, if I just compare myself to myself, I actually feel pretty encouraged. Astounded even. I mean… when I take an honest, unbiased look at where I am today, I really can’t believe it; I just can’t believe that I’m a successful university student, going for a degree in BioTech. 

I also can’t believe- but also can’t deny- the fact that I thoroughly enjoy my Biology classes. Like… to the point I will seek out and listen to podcasts sort of related to what I’m learning in my classes, so I can listen to them while I do other things not school-related. I’ve also been coming up with ideas on how to use my education for other things besides doing whatever BioTech majors tend to do. 

One such idea is using my skills as a writer to communicate science in such a way that doesn’t bore people to death or talk down to them. After all, there is a desperate need for that kind of science communication, especially today. And, I can’t think of anything besides Mythbusters that has done such a thing in recent years. 

Speaking of Mythbusters, that show, along with Storm Chasers, was what kept me interested in science even when my science (and math) teachers were telling me I was far too stupid to be a scientist. I remember how excited I got whenever I knew I could go home from school to see a new episode of Mythbusters or Storm Chasers. I mean… there was a time in my life where I was obsessed with those shows. I had (and probably still have) a huge collection of DVDs I’d watch over and over again, especially when my mom could no longer afford cable TV. When I went to my dad’s house over the weekends, we’d binge watch Mythbusters from his DVR so I never missed a single episode. 

My dad in particular tried his best to keep my love for science alive despite what was going on at school. I recently uncovered some books he’d bought me when I was in middle school, such as a graphic novel called The Stuff of Life by Mark Schultz. Also, my dad and I watched a lot of documentaries about science and the famous scientists who propelled it forward. 

Plus, he tried to get me into science fiction, but that never stuck. I was far more interested in actual science than whatever the fuck was going on in Star Trek or Star Wars. Well… there’s a couple “sci-fi” movies I liked and still like today: Space Balls and the Austin Powers franchise. But, that’s besides the point. 

What I’m trying to get at is this: I hope to get as excited to learn about science from my professors as I did from Mythbusters and Storm Chasers when I was growing up. I hope that as I heal from my past, my love for science will reignite, and I will become obsessed with it again.