Friday...

Well... my illness has forced me and my entire family to stay home for the rest of the week, and it got a little scary last night for me. Why? Because, I coughed up mucus for the first time in three years, and it was just as disgusting as I remember. Worse, everything smells and tastes the same as it once did, and I don't like that. 

I keep having to remind myself that this is a temporary (and normal) part of getting a cold/flu, and I will get back to my old self, sooner than later. But, it's tough to be temporarily reminded of my darkest days by taste and smell. Both myself and my family have reverted back to some old habits of ours, just with more energy to pace around and catastrophize. You see, I'm not at all sleepy or tired, but my face is full of snot and I'm a little off-balance. Plus, all these days of huff-coughing, nasal clearing, and hacking to clear out the snot from my body, have taken a toll on my throat (I can't talk that well and sound like a dying mountain cougar when I do), which adds more fuel to everyone's anxiety. 

I feel like I'm getting better. I know I'm getting better. I know my sense of taste and smell will soon return. I know antibiotics aren't gonna be needed. But, God damn, that fear of shit hitting the fan at any minute now is still there, and still very much ingrained within me. Clearly, I have a lot of work to do in therapy. Too bad my therapist has gone on vacation...

In the meantime, I'm still doing what I know to do when I'm sick. I've forced myself to move around as much as possible, and I've been taking two showers per day to breathe in hot steam and help me feel less gross. I'm still too weary of humidifiers to try them for myself (they are perfect breeding grounds for things like Staph, Pseudomonas, and fungi, among other things). Otherwise, I would've turned my bedroom into a tropical terrarium by now. As for nebulizers, unfortunately, I don't have anything useful to put into them, as I can no longer stand the saline solutions or the Pulmozyme. So, I'm just forced to deal with dry airways for the time being. 

Oh well... At least I can still breathe easily and clearly, despite my airways feeling scratchy.