This is (well, was) an oral piece I came up with late at night off the top of my head to entertain my brother (and myself).  It's not the best writing...but hopefully its absurdity will make you laugh

Once upon a time there was a duck named Ferdie who lived in a pond. Ferdie had a flamethrower that he used to take potshots at squirrels that came nearby.  Ferdie's aim could use a little bit of work.  All the animals at the pond were terrified of Ferdie and his flamethrower because he never actually hit the squirrels, just everything else.  Finally one day, Jeremy the bullfrog decided to do something about it.  Jeremy got his friends, the carp, to agree to help him carry out his audacious plan.  Not that the carp cared about Ferdie and his flamethrower, because they lived under water, but they owed Jeremy a couple of favors.  Now, everyday when searching for food at the bottom of the pond, Ferdie put his precious flamethrower on a log right smack in the middle of the pond, right next to Ferdie's favorite feeding grounds.  So Jeremy got the carp to clear out all the pond weed from Ferdie's favorite feeding ground one night when Ferdie was fast asleep with his head tucked under his wing right next to his precious flamethrower.  In the morning when Ferdie swam out to the center of the pond and placed his flamethrower gently on the sacred log, he discovered that there was no pond weed underwater, and he had to swim farther and farther out in order to get his food.

Now, Ferdie always used a little bit of his oil to keep the metal of his flamethrower nice and shiny and safe from a little bit of water.  He couldn't use much, because then the whole thing would catch fire, but he used a little bit - just enough to make it safe near water.  Now, once Ferdie's back was turned, Jeremy silently swam over to the sacred log. Jeremy lifted one flipper as a signal and one of his accomplices, the Blue Jay, flew in for an airdrop.  Jeremy held up his webbed fingers and caught the tiny piece of soap.  Dipping it gently in the water, Jeremy silently scrubbed the outside of the flamethrower to remove all of the oil and make it vulnerable to water.  Meanwhile, Ferdie had finally found some food, only to be distracted by minnows and some smaller frogs who danced about him, drawing him further out as he snapped at them and beat at them in an attempt to get to his food.  Little did he know that they were in the pay of Jeremy the Bullfrog, to whom they also owed favors.  Also, the smaller frogs were kind of scared because bullfrogs will eat almost anything.  Then, just as Jeremy finished soaping the flamethrower, Ferdie decided to teach the minnows and smaller frogs a lesson.  He decided to get his flamethrower.  He turned back, just in time to see Jeremy the Bullfrog shove with all of his might Ferdie's precious flamethrower into the pond.  Slowly it fell, as if in slow motion, and sank below the water with a splash.

Quacking in anguish, Ferdie dove the below the water to where the flamethrower lay.  But even once he lifted it out, with much heaving and quacking, it was no use.  The soap had done its job well - pond water had gotten to the inside of the flamethrower, and rusted it through.  It would never work again.  As Ferdie sat on the bank, mourning the death of the beloved flamethrower before him, all the pond animals cheered.  At last they were free, and could go about their lives without the fear of being randomly set on fire by a crazy duck. 

They probably shouldn't have cheered so soon though, because a few days later, Ferdie found a bow and arrow.