Aside from physical symptoms, Cystic Fibrosis has a huge affect on my mental health as well. I often get very lonely because there's literally no one else in the world who can really relate to me, and vise-versa. Being around people, even those I know and relate to best, doesn't help with that terrible feeling of existential loneliness. I've had to accept that I'm alone in this battle with Cystic Fibrosis, because of how uniquely affected I am by CF. I don't fit the CF stereotype, and even a few other people with CF have accused me over social media of faking it for attention. I'm just not very sick, which is very strange, especially since I was born with one of the most aggressive forms of CF out there and given less than 16 years to live at birth.

I've tried to comfort myself by searching up about other people who may have very unique cases of their own health conditions. However, besides Stephen Hawking, there's not many people out there who have had extremely unique health circumstances that I know about. Most people who have had mystery conditions eventually learned what they were and got treated accordingly. But, unlike those who discovered the cause of their strange symptoms and got their treatments, much of what I have still makes the best scientists and doctors in the world scratch their heads.

My heart condition, for example, turned several of my atheist and agnostic cardiologists religious. Heart valves, as far as medical science is aware of, don't just grow back after six years and two surgeries, during which things were cut out and replaced with synthetic hardware. Yet, mine did just that, and continues to grow and function like a normal pulmonary heart valve. The only reason doctors know anything happened to me now is because of the scars and medical hardware they left behind within my body. My scars have faded, and my body used the hardware that was supposed to be temporary as permanent scaffolding to regrow my heart valve. My Pulmonary Atresia case was written about in many medical journals, but I think my parents refused to let the doctors stick my name next to it to preserve our privacy. 

I've lived well past every expiration date specialists have given me, proving to me that doctors don't always know what they are talking about. Not only have I lived past my supposed death dates, but I'm currently thriving with lungs that are just as strong as, if not stronger than, those belonging to an 18-year-old woman without CF! And, as far as my weight and height go, CF has not stunted me like it so often does to other people. I'm even physically stronger than the average woman my size, even though I don't have a membership to my local fitness center yet. My daily physical activity involves walking my dog until he can't walk anymore, and then carrying him back home. I wouldn't exactly call that cardio or strength-increasing. 

I've had to swallow the fact that there's no one else out there like me. God dropped me off in the middle of nowhere when I was born, and tasked me with blazing my own trail through hell. I used to be absolutely terrified of everything because of the trauma CF put me through. But now that I'm 18 years old and still going incredibly strong, that fear has been replaced by an unbreakable determination to live well into my 80s and 90s. Assuming God remains on my side and science doesn't regress back into the dark ages, I should expect to live a long life. That doesn't mean I shouldn't expect rough seas ahead. There will always be storms, uncertainties, and scares. But, I'm about as ready as I'll ever be to face those challenges along the way. 

Dealing with Cystic Fibrosis on the medical end is a partnership between me and my doctors. Most of the time, my doctors aren't lecturing down to me about my condition. Most of the time, we're bouncing ideas off each other. Occasionally, I get into a pretty big argument with one of my doctors over a new treatment plan or medication, because I am resistant to new things at times. Sometimes, my parents are the ones bickering with the doctors. However, no matter how much we may disagree, we always manage to agree to some sort of plan within an hour or two. I'm well aware that most people don't have this sort of relationship with their doctors, so they don't really see or understand what's going on behind the scenes.

I think that the anti-vax movement, for example, was spurred on by the ignorance of people and their apprehension towards their doctors who often use too many big, scary words, and don't always act like a human. Doctors and regular people rarely have intimate conversations about their health or the medical science that goes into medication and treatment. Most of the time, doctors are lecturing people for a half-hour about something that sounds big, scary, and unfamiliar, then they don't see each other for another 6 months or a year. Clearly, that is a problem in today's society, and is probably why people like naturopaths and anti-vaxxers exist.