I'm extremely grateful for the family that I have. My family is large and blended. My parents divorced when I was a toddler, and while that certainly made my life even more difficult, that allowed a lot of blessings to happen as well. Clarke is the father of my little half-brother, Jack. I consider Jack my full brother. Not only do we live together under my mom's roof, but whenever Jack goes to his dad's house, I usually tag along. Jack and I are 8 years apart, which makes Jack the annoying little brother. But even though we don't usually get along and have vastly different hobbies and interests, he's still my brother, and I still love him very much. I'm very protective of him, and that's because I'm the only person (besides Jack's other half-siblings on his dad's side) who gets to mess with him. 

The weird thing about my family is that my dad also has a son, my other little half-brother, Ty, who is just 6 months younger than Jack. However, I don't know Ty very well, or the rest of my dad's married-in family for that matter. When I was 14, after a decade of fighting nonstop with my stepmom, I left the household. My stepmom also has a son who is my age, but I don't know him at all. My stepbrother has numerous mental health issues that made him a danger to me when we were 6 and 7 years old. It got so bad that my mom took my stepmom to court, where the court declared I should never be around my stepbrother again for my own safety and well being. 

Of course, that little paragraph doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of that complete shitshow. However, it does begin to show just how complicated my family life's really been. In fact, everything in my life has been extremely complicated. There are endless things to worry about, all of which are very important. That probably explains why I'm so anxious and often overwhelmed. 

I'm just glad I was born into everything, and didn't really experience what life was like without Cystic Fibrosis or a broken, blended family. I think I'd be much worse off had my health and family issues set in later on in my life. But since I was born with Cystic Fibrosis, and my parents divorced when I was only a toddler, I've never known what it's like to be normal. I'll never know what it's like to have a body without Cystic Fibrosis, and I'll never know what it's like to have both biological parents in the same household. While that sounds depressing, I don't know any different. I've adapted to my situation and have so far successfully maneuvered through it, even though it has always been very difficult to deal with. 

But, personally, the hardest part about all of this has been dealing with the strong, constant feeling of loneliness. I really struggle to relate to people on a very personal level, because there really isn't anyone else out there who can relate to my struggles. Sure, there are other people with Cystic Fibrosis and broken families, but my situation is so unique that nobody I've ever known has been able to truly relate to me. People can sympathize with me, but they can almost never empathize with me. 

I've been fighting most of my battles alone. There are people everywhere around me who have expressed their sympathy and have done everything possible to support me, but nobody can fight my battles for me, or truly understand what I've been dealing with my entire life.