Instead of climbing up onto the red rocks, I decided to follow the trail beneath them, where I knew of a spot I could sit in the shade and meditate in the silence. The wind was still and no dogs or people were around to pierce the silence when I got there. I found a stool-sized sandstone boulder to sit on under a grove of still-green gamble oaks, took off my camera gear, and pulled out a Zevia Cola from my camera pack. 

Honestly, I really wasn’t up for a huge hiking adventure that morning. I was tired, grumpy, and just in need of a break. I was perfectly content with cracking open a soda, leaning my back against the rough, skinny trunk of one of the gambel oaks, and just staring out at the red sand and rocks around me. 

Soon, my meditation turned to prayer. I was (and still am) worried about how the rest of this semester was gonna go, given the group projects, busy work, calculus, and the fact that my doctor called me to tell me that my X-ray wasn’t as clear as she was hoping it would be. 

“It’s not a blockage or a tumor, or anything like that, so don’t freak out… but I do need you to take some Miralax every day to see if we can get it cleared out.” was what my doctor told me, a couple days before. 

Yeah… that wasn’t very comforting. 

Plus, I was simply frustrated by college for a myriad of reasons. I felt like I just needed a break. But, I couldn’t just take a break. I had to keep pressing forward, no matter what, and avoid dwelling on the things I had no control over. 

While I sat in the shade of the red rocks and gambel oaks, I began to silently lament to the Lord about all that I was struggling with. College was one thing; worst case scenario, if I failed one or both of my classes, I’d just retake them in the spring. I didn’t (and don’t) want to have to retake any classes, but I was worried that I’d bitten off a little more than I could chew this semester around, especially when it came to group project shit in Biology. 

My health, however, was a different story; it’s the most important one, too. For the record, I haven’t noticed anything new going on with my health. It’s been business as usual. But, that doesn’t mean my health has been butterflies and unicorns. Far from it, actually. I’m healthier than I’ve ever been before, but I’m still not exactly “normal”. And, I’ve made the mistake of investigating what’s still not-so-normal about me, leading to that concerning phone call from my doctor. 

Aside from take my doctor’s advice and continue to monitor my symptoms, there’s not much that I can do about my “funny looking” X-rays.

To be continued...