Given all that, the fact that I’m still holding a C in precalculus is quite impressive. But, I’m starting to buckle under the pressure and anxiety that come with the last several weeks of the semester, and the deadline to withdraw from classes is just a couple short weeks away. Oh… is that “Withdraw” button so very tempting! Especially since I recently learned that a failing grade will end up on my transcripts no matter what, and impact my overall GPA from here on out. 

Why does that matter? Because I’m saving a shitload of money on car insurance by keeping my GPA above a 3.0. If it was just the GPA, I wouldn’t give a shit. I’d gladly take an F or a D, especially since I don’t plan on going to a prestigious university (why spend an egregious amount of money wracking up student loan debt, when my dad can afford to put me through a state school?). But, an extra two-hundred bucks per month is on the line! Letting my GPA get below a 3.0 would literally be like setting two $100 bills on fire every month, which would just be too much to bear. 

So, I’ve made a deal with myself (and with my parents). If I pass my next math exam, I’ll stay in the class and give everything I’ve got to pass precalculus so my car insurance doesn’t cost an extra $200 a month. If I fail it (or get just a 70%), I’ll withdraw and (hopefully) knock out precalculus over the summer. 

Either way, I’m determined to learn precalculus, as well as calculus, and all other sorts of math and science. I’m determined to learn how numbers work, whether they’re abstract or grounded in real-world examples. Just like how I’ve learned how grammar rules work, to the point I feel comfortable deviating from them in my writing. 

That, of course, leads me to question why am I so determined to understand math in the first place. Well… aside from the fact that STEM majors don’t tend to have as much trouble finding well-paid work, which to me means I can live a rather secure and comfortable life, I’m also interested in learning math for scientific, philosophical and, dare I say, theological reasons.