Instead, I’ve largely moved on to other, more important things. It took an awful lot of therapy, journaling, and facing my fears head-on by going to college and diving head-first into a five-credit Astronomy lab course, for me to let go of my K-12 experiences. When I was taking College Algebra, my mom was out of town during the first week or two. I called her one night in tears because the syllabus scared the shit out of me, and all I could think was, “I’m gonna fail. These math and science teachers were right about me. I’m gonna fail. I’m gonna embarrass myself. I’m a fucking idiot completely incapable of doing basic arithmetic.” on and on. 

A week later, my dad took me out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant called Peking-Tokyo, and I very vividly remember telling him, “Dad, a third of the class already dropped the course, but the refund date has passed. Chances are, I’m gonna eat shit in this class, but I promise I’ll do my best, and I’ll tackle it again in the fall.”

My dad gave me a skeptical scowl as he sipped some tea, gently put the cup down and sighed, “You say that, but I don’t believe you’re gonna flunk this course. If you try your best- which I know you’re gonna do because you’re way smarter and more capable than you think you are- you’ll pass this class no problem… Even if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. I spent way more money on skiing this season than I’ll ever spend on your community college tuition, so don’t feel bad if you fail. But you won’t fail…. You’ll do just fine…”

And… well… Dad was right. As was my mom, because she also told me, “When I was your age, I withdrew from a $4,000 Chemistry class to avoid failing it… Guess what? I’m way more successful now than I would’ve been had I stuck to a Chemistry major… Grades and scores don’t define you or measure how smart you are, or how successful you will be… But, I’m certain you’ll pass this class…”