Needless to say, ever since my therapist went on vacation a week or so ago, my life has been snowballing downhill. Everything that could possibly break has been breaking (including, but not limited to, my mom’s rav4 (which nobody can figure out what’s wrong), my laptop, the entire basement of our house, the rotors in my Xterra, and much more), and much more. Clarke got really sick last week and is just now starting to get better, claiming it was just his sinuses. But, I strongly suspect he got some form of covid, as he’s only gotten one dose of a two-dose vaccine. My dogs both have allergies, causing their ears to swell and itch, though with some ear medication and regular cleaning, the swelling is finally going down. 

There’s much more, but I digress.

But, as tough as things have been, I’m thankfully able to get a break. Well, at least, kind of. 

While I wait for the laptop repair shop to either fix my laptop or deliver the bad news of its demise, I’ve been given a replacement gaming laptop while I wait. It’s not as powerful or aesthetically pleasing to me as my older laptop, but it gets the job done. After all, during the days when I’m not at the animal shelter or making friends with the local wildlife, I need an escape. That being my pandemic-caused addiction to World of Warcraft and the H3H3 podcast.

In the meantime, my mom and brother are currently on an airplane en route to Washington state to start getting our things gathered up. Unfortunately, given how utterly insane the housing market is going everywhere (especially in Washington), it just isn’t feasible for us to move there right now. The company Mom works for lacks the funds to set up a headquarters out there right now. Our Gig Harbor house has just been a money pit and is still in need of major work (most notably, an entire roof replacement). At this point, it just makes more sense to sell it to someone who actually has the money and patience to deal with it.

For me, it’s a sigh of relief, as I can finally safely plan out my college stuff and settle down. Also, I get a few days completely by myself at home. Well, except for the dogs are with me to keep me company and get me out of the house. Yet, I still don’t feel very good or content at all. 

Due to all of the chaos, I’ve been having a hard time sleeping, eating, and getting out. I’m tremendously anxious with a perpetually upset digestive system, and I can’t tell if I have a cold or am just tight-chested due to all of the stress. Sleep for me has basically been impossible due to how uncomfortable I am. Getting out has been the hardest thing for me to do, despite my desire to get away from everything going on under this roof. I get out anyway, knowing that exercise and being around animals are scientifically proven to reduce depression and anxiety. 

But, I can’t usually muster up the will to leave the house until I am forced to. Penny needs exercise, and if she doesn’t go on her walk, she’ll open up the drawers to someone’s dresser and play keep-away with a sock or underwear until I begrudgingly get up and grab her leash and harness. At which point, she drops the clothing and rushes up to me, whacking my face with her tail as I get her and I ready to go.

Once she's ready, I usually grab an old towel from the closet to lay across the backseat (as Penny gets carsick at times), and together we drive off to either Clement Park or Weaver Hollow Park. Lately, I've been too worn out to walk out Clement Park, but Weaver is smaller and much less busy. Penny, like most dogs, isn't a very fast walker. Her curiosity forces her to stop and sniff almost every budding flower and tree trunk, but her skittishness keeps her close to me. So, I keep walking to keep us moving, though not so fast that Penny can't explore. 

As hard as I try to help her, Penny is still very wary of strangers and other dogs. She's terrified of cats, large birds, deer, horses, cattle, leaves and grass in the breeze, bikes, moving cars, and pretty much everything else. But, she loves to chase prairie dogs into their holes and ducks into their ponds, and her favorite outdoor snacks are grasshoppers and moths. She also loves to get wet and muddy. To be fair, she's 50% golden retriever. Of course, she loves going after greenheads and ground dogs and swimming! Yet, she still fears puppies barely half her size. 

At least, Penny isn't even slightly aggressive. She's loud, but is very quick to run and hide from "danger". With a little time and lots of treats and love, she warms up to people and dogs. Soon, she is best buds with everyone who treats her well. In other words, if Penny were human, she'd be me. Well, I don't run from strangers anymore, but when I was a little girl, I absolutely did! Perhaps, like me, Penny will soon grow out of her social anxiety. 

After our walk, Penny tends to be much calmer and easier to handle at home. In fact, she often falls asleep almost as soon as I shut the car door behind her, and sleeps the whole way back. Once home, she often grabs a drink and snack from her bowls, then curls up somewhere nearby wherever I go. If I'm on the couch or napping in bed, she'll often try to squeeze herself between me and my old dog, Hunter (who is also extremely needy and lovey, though has never been very fond of walks or leaving the house for that matter). If that doesn't work, she'll curl up against me on whichever side Hunter is not on. Before long, she's snoring quite loudly! 

Once Penny is in deep sleep, I'll carefully get up and pay some attention to Hunter, who has been by my side for over a decade. His age definitely shows these days, which is hard for me to see. But, he isn't too old to play. And, he's especially not too old to be held by my side while I watch something on Youtube or play video games. Unlike Penny, Hunter's always been a very chill dog. I've rarely seen him too excited or nervous around people, however he likes to be the alpha dog, and I've had to break up a few fights between him and much bigger rival dogs over the years; my left hand still bares a few faint scars from the worst dog fight Hunter's ever gotten himself into. 

But, I still love that little dude (even though he can be a jerk to other dogs), and I'll keep him 'til the very end. He's been there for me when I needed him the most, and I've vowed to always be there for him when he needs me the most. 

Oh, where would I be if I didn't always have a dog (or any other animal) by my side through thick and thin?