Day 7:

No sleep was had last night. I was severely bloated and constipated to the point that I was in too much pain and discomfort to sleep. I took another dose of laxatives every few hours as my stomach and intestines gurgled. I knew it was good that my abdomen was making noises since noises are associated with movement. However, the discomfort was pretty much unbearable. 

Nothing I tried worked to alleviate the pain or discomfort. I took pretty much every gas, pain, and bowel obstruction medicine I had, chugged it down with apple juice, and then laid down under a heated blanket with a heat pack stuffed against my stomach. At about five in the morning, my grandma came into my bedroom to check on me before she left for work. When she saw that I hadn't gotten a lick of sleep and was curled up in a fetal position, sweating profusely from being in agony, she decided to call her work and see if she could remain on-call. Thankfully, they allowed her to stay home. 

My grandma fed me two doses of laxatives in a giant glass of apple juice, and then headed to the store to get an even more potent laxative than what we had on hand, in case things still didn't move. Unfortunately, nothing moved. I managed to fall asleep and slept for a solid five hours. But, when I woke up again, I was still very sick and uncomfortable. So, reluctantly, I took that high powered laxative along with my Trikafta breakfast (which I only took two enzymes with this time), and if that still didn't work, I would need to go to the hospital. 

Thankfully, about an hour or so after I took that final laxative, on top of the half gallon of laxative-laced apple juice I drank over the course of the night, things finally moved. 

It wasn't a pleasant experience. It felt like my insides were being ripped out the whole time I was in the bathroom, and I could feel myself actually losing weight. Also, I was chugging down water like nothing else because I was so damn thirsty. I think I refilled my water glass about fifteen times. I don't think I've felt so sick since I had a stomach virus over a year ago. Ok, I wasn't as sick as I was when I had the virus, because I could still move, maintain body heat, and didn't vomit every five minutes. But, my laxative-induced illness was a close second. When it was finally over, the world was spinning, but at least I was feeling better. 

Unfortunately, even after that, I'm still very full and bloated. I took yet another shot of the potent laxative not too long ago, and now it's just the waiting game. 

I have to admit, I do feel pretty discouraged. I know this is just the continuation of a legendary expulsion of mucus from my whole body, and as my body (hopefully) runs out of mucus to purge, things will calm down. However, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't considering taking a break from Trikafta. I'm used to being sick, but what I'm currently going through is unlike anything I've ever gone through before, and nobody else besides others who are on Trikafta, can relate to the things I've been going through. Hell, no two people who are on Trikafta experience the same symptoms!

I don't even know how to put into words what it's like to simultaneously feel like a bear in hibernation, yet more wound up than a spider monkey addicted to lattes. I don't like how I can feel perfectly healthy and content one hour, but the next hour be shitting my brains out, to the point I'm asking God why He has forsaken me. I'm not gonna drive home tonight, even though I feel perfectly ok right now. I'm still going home with my mom, but I'll have to get my truck in a couple days when I (hopefully) don't feel like I'm at risk of passing out, vomiting, and/or shitting myself at the wheel during the course of the drive.

I don't like how I'm feeling right now. I don't like how thirsty I am, or how much fat I have to eat in one sitting just to take my damn medication. I don't like how every cough brings the foul taste of decay into my mouth. I don't like how I don't know how many enzymes I need, if I need to take them at all. And I won't be able to figure it out any other way except by logging how many I take per meal, and suffering the consequences of taking too many or too little enzymes each time. Either I'll be severely constipated, or I'll end up severely dehydrated, or perhaps both, until I finally figure out the right number of enzymes I need with which meals to not feel like I'm dying. There's so many things I don't like about life at the moment, but I think y'all get the point. 

However, I keep reminding myself, over and over again, that what I'm going through now is very temporary and very worth it. I keep telling myself that thanks to this medication, within just a few short weeks or months, I'll have an entirely new body that actually does what it's supposed to do. I will get to feel what it's like to have the energy of a normal person for the first time ever, without having to deal with the purge. I will be able to work, travel, attend college, maintain a social life, and pursue my hobbies, all at the same exact time thanks to this new medication! I hopefully won't have to worry so much about catching everyone's colds, or canceling plans at the last minute due to illness or threat of illness. I might be able to truly enjoy the outdoors, without chewing my nails over the weather or lack of electricity for a few days. Hopefully, I'll be able to work full-time one day, doing something that I enjoy, and I'll live a long, productive life I can be proud of. For the first time ever, I feel like I can safely be ambitious, and do things I once believed I could never do long-term. 

That's amazing! Considering where I've been, and the shit I have been forced to endure all my life, the fact that science now says I'll be able to escape what was once the inevitable just a few short years ago, is just incredible. Not only does science say that I can expect to live as long as my normal peers with minimal CF symptoms, but at the moment, the painful diarrhea and violent, productive coughing fits, are proof that the anatomy of my cells are changing quickly, the inflammation in my body is decreasing, and my body is beginning to shed the buildup of mucus that has caused me so many problems over the years. 

Hopefully, things only improve from here, and within a few months or so, I won't even have to worry about CF getting in the way. Hopefully, I can just get on with life like everyone else. Just imagine the things I could do in a body that acts as though it wasn't even born any differently. Thank science for Trikafta. And Thank God for science!

But, for now, I'll be fixing up a concoction of Miralax and apple juice to swallow my Ibuprofen and Gas-X with, so I can hopefully sleep tonight. And, if that fails, I'll just chug down a couple  capfulls of Pepto-Bismol's evil twin, and suffer yet another gastric exorcism at 5:00 in the morning! Oh man, I'm having so much fun with this!