[So just as a note, this piece is in terrible shape as is and I want to expand it as well as add to the topic at some point. Its a subject I think about a lot because I think its pretty important especially as I enter the adult world.]

As a son of God, I want to support my sisters, the thing is, I’m not entirely sure what that looks like. I don’t see a ton of examples of guys (except for my friends) my age doing that. Mostly I just see guys my age who have the same hopeful but clueless look on their faces, as I do.

So, what does it look like for a son of God to support his sisters? What does it look like for a guy to show respect and honor to a girl without it looking like he has a crush on her? How does a guy just be friends with a girl? I know these are not the typical questions guys my age are asking but let’s be honest here, the vast majority of girls a guy meets are not going to be the girl he maries.

What I do know is that as a brother I want to be able to defend my sisters. One of the biggest reasons I take karate is because of stories I keep hearing from my sisters in Christ about situations involving shady looking men or situations where they feel completely creaped out. Now granted a lot of the girls I know are better at martial arts than I am so I guess I would not need to do much, but I would at least like to be able to lend a hand.

These are the kinds of questions I’m asking and so far I have not gotten many answers, at least, not the ones I’m looking. So far all I’ve been trying to do is be humble and compassionate, loving, gracious and considerate. So basically how Jesus treated people. That’s great and all and it probably is the answer but I’m still having trouble with what that actually looks like in today’s culture. 

My friend’s house is arguably one of the most joyful places I’ve ever been to. It’s a house in the country that lies on a road probably named after a school, which is rather fitting considering that I learn a lot when I go there. I’ve been to numerous parties and overnights at my friend’s house and his family's simple hospitality has taught me so much, and my heart is always refreshed when I’m there.

My friend recently celebrated a birthday so we all gathered for an overnight at his house. Although other people were there for part of it, It was three of us guys who ended up spending the night. The three of us plus our friend the birthday boy have been pretty tight for a while and it was really nice just to hang out with them again. We played some games, shot each other with air soft pellets and swam in their pool around midnight, or in my case, caught the frogs that swam in the pool xD. Needless to say we had a grand time and I think the birthday boy did as well!

 But while I was there, I had an interesting conversation. Two of us stayed up well past when we should have gone to bed, around 4 am I think, talking about something that isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be.

Dating.

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Now two out of the four of us already have girlfriends, and I will take this moment to say that they picked well ;)  We were talking about what some of the important things in relationships are, which really got me thinking. What are the important parts of healthy, God honoring, romantic relationships and, the question I think most of us single guys and girls want to know the answer to, how do you get into one?

Now, I’ve come close to being in a relationship before but I’ve never actually had a girlfriend, so it was really interesting to hear from someone I trust and respect who is actually in what I would call, a healthy, God honoring romantic relationship.  Probably the most important scaffolding or foundation if you will, is prayer. As my friend opened up I began to learn just how much him and his girlfriend covered their relationship in prayer, from day one onward, actually before it was even official.

One of the things that we thought was important was that a romantic relationship should not actually be based on romance. Yeah, I know, that may sound weird but from what we have seen, some of the healthiest relationships are the ones based on a solid friendship first. Now, romance has its place but I think in some cases, the healthy relationships stem from the friendship itself not in the temporary attraction to appearance or feelings of the other person.

Another key point is communication. This may sound corny but I can’t really stress this enough because this is what has caused problems for me in the past. You have to be honest, and open, not only about your feelings but also your goals. What direction do you want this relationship will go? Why do you want to get into one in the first place? That sort of thing. Any kind of relationship, be it romantic or just a friendship, heck even our relationship with God, is functional because of communication. If you don’t talk, how do you know what’s going on?

The next part is kind of tricky, I personally think that each person in a relationship should be totally comfortable in their own skin before they get into a relationship. In other words, a couple shouldn’t need each other to be complete. You should be totally, or at least as much as is humanly possible, comfortable with and have a complete assurance in the person God is making you to be and the skills and talents he has entrusted to you. And, I have to make this distinction, it’s not an assurance in one’s self and abilities but rather in God and his. Personally I think that if someone is confident in God and the abilities He has given them, it can be a good indication of strong character and relationship with Christ.

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So eventually, when we heard the birds chirping their morning call we decided to call it quits and fall asleep. When we awoke around four or five hours later we were greeted by the sounds and smells of a great breakfast our hosts generously made for us. After that we played a few rounds of outdoor laser tag around their property and somehow ended up wading ankle deep in their creek skipping rocks.

But as I reluctantly made my way home, I still couldn’t shake our night time conversation. It has left me thinking, wondering, and hoping for what the Lord has in store for our futures.