I'm tired of everything being so frickin' hard
Of having my own expectations and goals, and consistently falling short, usually through my own choices

Of "the best I know how to do" apparently not being enough for other people either
And I can't figure out if it's me,
Or if it's them,
Or if it's both of us,
Coming at things from the wrong angle,
In a way that's inefficient,
And Impractical

Why

Sometimes I hate
How much of my life and energy
Must be spent on continued existence
and function

When apparently other people don't have to.
And I wonder if I'm doing it wrong
Or doing it badly,
Or if I'm simply doing more,
Than what other people must

And then I become Angry,
Angry that they expect so much of me
When I'm already trying to do so much,
That they want more
When I am already doing
- what I tell myself - is
Already beyond Reasonable

I jump on the Offense,
{Strike back at the glares,
At the looks that say I am
Lazy, and
Not Dedicated Enough

I lash out,}
Afraid that if I wait
We will both discover
That all along
It was me
Who was insufficient