Well… after three years of avoiding any and all illnesses, it finally happened. No, I don’t have covid, or strep, or anything like that. But, I’m still sick as a dog. Though, I don't really feel like it.

I began to show symptoms on Friday, and I seemed to have peaked last night/this morning, which means that I will (hopefully) be better by the middle of this week. Which… is a bit of a mindfuck to me. 

Clearly, I’m not used to “normal people” sicknesses. I used to stay home when I felt sick not because I worried about passing my illness to others (very few people could get Pseudomonas or MRSA or a fungal infection from me). But because I was too sick to lift my head off the pillow, and couldn’t even muster the strength to lift up my phone or the TV remote to entertain myself. When I got sick, I got really sick really fast, and that illness would last for months. On days that I could lift my head off the pillow, I’d get on with life as usual, knowing that A) I couldn’t spend three straight months in bed, and B) I couldn’t pass my nasty lung stuff to anyone else. 

Now things are very different. I’m sick, but not deathly sick. That also means that my illness is likely contagious. If I didn’t have something that was probably contagious, then I would’ve forced myself to get on with life as usual because… well… I’m just stubborn as a mule and I don’t want a dry cough and runny nose get in the way of me doing things. 

But, because I have something that, for once in my life, I can actually give to other normal people, I’ve decided to stay home till I’m no longer sick. Instead of going to class today, I emailed my prof to let her know that I’ve got a non-covid respiratory virus, and went on a hike to get my excess energy out in a healthy, isolated way. 

Hopefully, within the next couple of days, I will recover to the point that I’m no longer a public health hazard. Until then, I will remain in my little bear den, away from the world around me. Because, sharing respiratory viruses during that time of the year when everyone’s getting sick, is not a very nice thing to do. Even though, whatever I have is very mild (at least, to me), and isn’t gonna stick around for very long at all.

In a strange way, this illness is worth celebrating. After twenty-one years, I'm finally getting to experience what it's like to get sick when your body isn't already trying to self-destruct every single second of every single day. It still sucks to get sick. I don't like that my throat is as itchy and scratchy as it is. But, compared to what I've dealt with in the past, this flu/cold/whatever is a walk in the park. Still, I don't want to give it to anyone (which is why I'm staying home this week), but at least whatever I have isn't going to require months of medical intervention to prevent it from killing me. 

How awesome is that?!

Wednesday night into Thursday...

Unfortunately, I'm still showing symptoms of the cold, and have also given it to my entire family (who are all, rightfully, upset at me. Well... except for my brother, as he now has a reason to stay home from school for the next couple days). My professors don't want me coming anywhere near them either till I quick my dry hacking, so I am still stuck at home. Though, amazingly, I'm feeling quite a bit better than I did just a few days ago. 

My lungs and sinuses are completely clear of mucus. My throat is still sore and itchy, not because of any active infection, but because it's raw and dry from my constant coughing and the post-nasal drip that has since gone away. The only things I got to do from here on out are stay at home, keep chugging down lemon-honey throat coat tea, regularly apply some special lotion stuff to my nostrils and face below them, and just keep doing what I'd otherwise be doing already. 

All of my college work is 100% online, and my persuasive speech isn't until Thursday next week (or, the Thursday of this week, assuming I'll be healthy enough to rejoin writer's in-person). So, the threat of falling behind isn't even there. Even if it was, I could easily afford a couple missed assignments (given that I'm holding solid A's in both classes, somehow). But, I've needed something to do while myself and my family self-isolate till all three of us beat this cold (because my energy levels haven't been impacted by this illness whatsoever), so I've kept up with my assignments with no trouble. 

Honestly, I'm just amazed by how quick and easy this cold was compared to my past "colds". The hardest part of this illness has been waiting for things to progress to the point I'd need antibiotics, near-weekly doctors' appointments, four extra hours spent breathing in nebulized medication while wearing my Vest, all while putting my college on medical hold for as long as I needed to get better.

Clearly, that hasn't happened (and won't), as my body has stopped producing any snot or mucus, and I can breathe easily and clearly without sneezing or coughing every two minutes. The only thing that's currently getting to me is my dry throat. Any time I open my mouth to talk or yawn, it feels like a hairball is back there and needs to be hacked out. Except... there's nothing in my throat. It's only raw and itchy because... well... throats get raw and itchy during and shortly after colds.  But, I suspect in a few days, that too, will go away, and I will be completely back to my old self. 

All it took was some patience, lots of tea and honey, a daily hot, steamy shower, soup, and Advil. Y'know... the stuff "normal" people use to successfully soothe their cold symptoms.

No more antibiotics, no more upside-down nasal washes, no more vest treatments, no more 16-hour-long "naps", no more hospital visits, no more "you have X years to live if you don't beat this thing" talks from doctors, no more CAT scans or MRI machines, no more PICC lines or Red Man's Syndrome. None of that shit is necessary for me to get over a cold anymore. Which again... just shocks me beyond words. 

Friday...

Well... my illness has forced me and my entire family to stay home for the rest of the week, and it got a little scary last night for me. Why? Because, I coughed up mucus for the first time in three years, and it was just as disgusting as I remember. Worse, everything smells and tastes the same as it once did, and I don't like that. 

I keep having to remind myself that this is a temporary (and normal) part of getting a cold/flu, and I will get back to my old self, sooner than later. But, it's tough to be temporarily reminded of my darkest days by taste and smell. Both myself and my family have reverted back to some old habits of ours, just with more energy to pace around and catastrophize. You see, I'm not at all sleepy or tired, but my face is full of snot and I'm a little off-balance. Plus, all these days of huff-coughing, nasal clearing, and hacking to clear out the snot from my body, have taken a toll on my throat (I can't talk that well and sound like a dying mountain cougar when I do), which adds more fuel to everyone's anxiety. 

I feel like I'm getting better. I know I'm getting better. I know my sense of taste and smell will soon return. I know antibiotics aren't gonna be needed. But, God damn, that fear of shit hitting the fan at any minute now is still there, and still very much ingrained within me. Clearly, I have a lot of work to do in therapy. Too bad my therapist has gone on vacation...

In the meantime, I'm still doing what I know to do when I'm sick. I've forced myself to move around as much as possible, and I've been taking two showers per day to breathe in hot steam and help me feel less gross. I'm still too weary of humidifiers to try them for myself (they are perfect breeding grounds for things like Staph, Pseudomonas, and fungi, among other things). Otherwise, I would've turned my bedroom into a tropical terrarium by now. As for nebulizers, unfortunately, I don't have anything useful to put into them, as I can no longer stand the saline solutions or the Pulmozyme. So, I'm just forced to deal with dry airways for the time being. 

Oh well... At least I can still breathe easily and clearly, despite my airways feeling scratchy. 

Monday...

Aside from a slight, lingering cough and a stuffy nose, I am better (and continue to get better as time goes on). I made it to class in-person with no trouble. Never once did I feel dizzy or have the urge to cough while in class. Of course, I still wore a mask (as I now do so everywhere to avoid as many germs as possible). But, I haven't been contagious for several days and therefore no longer pose a threat to anyone around me. Overall, I'm feeling like my old self again. 

Just like that, in one week, I went from being pretty sick to feeling almost like my healthy ol' self again. I suspect in a few days, I will be able to expel the rest of the excess mucus from my body and be 100% better. Isn't that something?