“I’ve never seen anyone so excited about new tires before.” Mom remarked as I raced to tie my bootstrings. 

“Yeah, well. It’s been on my mind for awhile, and the tire place has exactly what the Xterra needs!” I replied as I leapt to my feet, “With that, I’m outta here!”

I’ve known about the dire state of my truck’s old tires since Colorado’s first freeze of this season. My Xterra was having trouble stopping on even dry roads, and the tires were so bare that at certain stopsigns in my neighborhood, my Xterra would slide on the ice into the gutter. Yeah, it was bad. Like, “jail time” bad if I were to get into a car wreck thanks to the godawful tread of those tires. And, damn, I was so excited to finally have some time, energy, and the money (or rather, my mom’s money) to put a brand new set of beefy, all-season, all-terrain 4X4 tires on my Xterra.

As I drove with a death grip on the wheel and my foot ready to slam on the brakes each time I descended a hill, I had a few minutes to think about my mom’s comment about my excitement. After all, I was, perhaps, a little too excited for new tires. I was far more excited for them than I was for Christmas dinner at Grandma Debbie’s. 

Just typing that makes me feel kind of gross. After all, who gets more excited for new tires than their Grandma’s Christmas cooking, and a chance to annoy their vegetarian aunt by eating the turkey’s neck and gizzards across from her? 

Me, apparently. 

My mom was correct when she implied that my ecstaticness about my new tires was unusual and kind of alarming. Especially since I almost never get that excited about anything, ever. Yet, there I was, jumping around like a spring calf the second the clerk at Discount Tire told me over the phone that my exact tire-of-choice was in stock, and they could have it on my truck within the hour. Better yet, my dad agreed to meet me at Discount Tire, so we could grab lunch as my Xterra was in the bay. 

Dad and I went to Tokyo Joes for lunch, even though neither of us were all that hungry. Obviously, it wasn’t the food (despite it being sushi) that had gotten me so happy and excited. I was just glad to be doing something for once that gave me any sort of hope, joy, and/or relief. Indeed, putting beefy 4X4 tires on the Xterra that would last me the next four-to-six years did all three things for me. 

I’m still not quite sure why such a typical, “boring” thing would bring me so much joy. But, my best guess would be that things have been extremely tough lately. The last two years have been extremely traumatic for us all, and there’s no end in sight. I can just sense the general and overwhelming tension in the air as people battle through an endless, worsening shitshow. Not to mention my own issues, which are already way too much for me to bear. 

I can see it everywhere I look, too. “For Hire” signs stick out of every street corner and lawn in front of businesses. People are (rightfully) striking for better pay, benefits, and treatment from their shitty employers. Inflation through the roof. The supply chain is still uber-fucked-up right now. Most Americans aren’t able to pay for basic expenses like food, housing, or healthcare, and those who are blessed enough to afford that now, are one bad week away from losing it all. Healthcare workers are leaving their jobs in droves, leading to major healthcare shortages all over the country as Omicron-Covid becomes the most contagious disease the world has ever fucking seen. Teachers and professors are leaving in droves, too, and I don’t blame them one bit (I’m actually genuinely surprised our educators didn’t quit sooner). The weather has been insane lately, bringing decades’ of dire scientific predictions regarding climate change to fruition. 

Overall, I just want off this ride right fucking now! Which, is what my new set of 4X4 tires represent: the ability to escape into the woods without fear of getting stuck out there and freezing to death. 

However, before I go running off into the woods to Return to Monke, I still have shit to do (to my dismay). College is ramping up again, starting online as live-remote classes because of the ‘rona. My family needs my help and support, and vise versa. I still need to take care of my physical and mental health, both of which have really suffered the last two years (and especially the last few months or so). I still have a great deal of adulting to do that I can’t just leave for later. On and on. 

Needless to say, I can’t just go live in a foxhole with the bears for a week, even if it might do wonders for my mental health. As shitty as things have been, are, and may very well continue to be, I have to just keep making the best of all of it. Attempting to run away from my problems neither the viable or right thing to do. Problems exist literally everywhere. It doesn’t matter where I am or where I try to go. I have 99 problems, and at least 88 of them will just go with me if I make a break for the hills. The other 11 will just fester, and I’m bound to run into more trouble no matter where I go. Giving up is simply not an option. 

While having brand-new 4X4 tires on my truck doesn’t give me a free pass to abandon society, they still represent freedom from just one of my many, many issues. Maybe I’m still a miserable bastard (more-so than usual, given everything going on). But, at least I’m a miserable bastard who doesn’t have to worry about sliding across busy intersections anymore.