I used to love swimming. When I was a little girl, I easily spent hours at the pool. I don't know why exactly, but I just loved to swim. My doctors said it was one of the best things I could do for myself. It trained my lungs how to hold deeper breaths and breathe in deeper in general. Of course, back then, illness wasn't really on my mind. I didn't know that water could make me so sick, and my doctors, while they said water could contain bacteria, they claimed I wasn't at a lot of risk for that. Boy, were they wrong!

It turns out, there's a nasty bacteria that thrives in water that only people like myself can get. Pseudomonas (Pronounced: Sue-dough-moan-as) is a weird bacteria. I can't gain an immunity to it, and it evolves extremely fast if confronted with antibiotics. Those who don't have Cystic Fibrosis are immune to it, unless their lungs and immune system are badly damaged later on in life. So, there's not a lot of research done on it, and it's probably the worst thing that I could ever catch as a person with CF. Well, I've fought it off four times in the last 5 years, and my latest bout with it forced me out of school and nearly dragged me to the grave. If it wasn't for my mom, and her intelligence and determination to help me in ways conventional doctors would frown upon, I probably wouldn't be in a very pleasant condition. Pseudomonas is basically the pale horse in the CF community. It's a horrible thing to get sick with and die from, and everyone knows it. Just last winter and fall, I heard of at least 15 CFers between the ages of 5-30 dying from a Pseudomonas infection. I honestly wondered if I was next. 

Pseudomonas is the reason why I started to avoid water like the plague, for the most part. I stopped swimming in public pools and stagnant lakes. I stopped going near waterfalls and into damp places. I even stopped walking past fountains in public places, and if someone has a hot tub, I'll stay far, far away from it. I still love the ocean, since Pseudomonas can't survive in salt water, and I thrive in salty conditions. I love to surf and snorkel when I can, and I love the taste of the ocean air. One of my breathing treatments is actually designed to simulate the ocean air, especially if the seas are rough. But warm, stagnant fresh water and crowded public places are my worst enemies. 

However, I don't let Pseudomonas rule my life. I still go to the city, I still go swimming in the ocean and in river-fed lakes, and I still go fishing. I know the risks, but since I beat Pseudomonas this last time, I know I have the tools and ability to beat it again if it ever comes back. I'm not afraid of it, but I'd really, really, really, really like to not get it again. Pseudomonas is hell on earth. 

I'm just very protective of myself, in some ways. I'm willing to snorkel in a tank of sharks at the aquarium, but completely unwilling to go swimming at a public pool. I'm willing to surf and snorkel along beaches with severe rip currents, but I won't go anywhere near a building that smells even a little like moisture. I'm willing to sit out on the porch on a severely stormy beach to breathe that awesome salty wind, but completely unwilling to play on the banks of a stagnant pond. It's incredibly complicated, but yet, I somehow know what I'm doing.