I’ve been feeling pretty on edge for awhile for no reasons I can come up with. I haven’t had much time to write. In fact, I’m actually typing this on my phone while I wait for my mom to finish her therapy appointment. I'll copy and paste it into my blog when I get home.

Anyway, for the last week or so, weird stuff’s been happening. I’ve been misplacing a lot of things, or at least I think I’ve been anyway. I’m pretty notorious for irritating myself by forgetting where I put stuff. But last week it was getting outrageous. I’d put something down, turn my back for a minute, and then when I’d turn back around it would be moved or just completely gone without a trace. Then I’d find the lost object moved to someplace I know I didn’t bring it. I found a clean spoon in my bathroom sink a few days ago, which was ridiculous because I never bring anything from the kitchen into the bathroom, and my brother knows better than to do that. He wasn’t even around. I’ve been home alone while my mom’s been at work and my brother’s been at camp, so I know they aren’t the ones taking my things and putting them in weird places. They never actually did that in the first place.

My jeep keys also went missing, which was particularly annoying because Clarke was coming by to get them so he could drive my jeep back to his house (the whole house deal fell through, so Clarke and his roommates won’t be homeless, but they’re back to square one). I keep my jeep keys attached to a white lanyard and either on or in my nightstand when they aren’t clipped to my wallet. I ended up finding them in my wet laundry after they took a ride in the washer. At least my keys were clean. But I was confused because they were nowhere near my laundry, and I saw them on my nightstand, clipped to my wallet, as I was carrying my laundry basket away. I was also irritated, because Clarke had to leave right away and now I have to wait another month to see my jeep again.

Then, I started hearing my mom come home early while I’m home alone. The sound of the door opening and closing, and her high heels clicking on the tile above me are unmistakable. But when I’ve gone upstairs to greet her, the front door would be locked, the dog would be asleep on the couch, and I’d quickly discover I’ve been home alone the whole time. This never scared me. In fact I just shrugged my shoulders and went back down to my room to resume what I was doing, thinking I was just hearing the house settle or the wind, even though the wind and old house noises don’t sound anything like my mom coming home, let alone exactly like her.

While this stuff so far could be shrugged off, it’s been escalating to the point I can’t shrug it off anymore. Early last night, shortly after I had dinner and took my dog outside, I was sitting at my laptop doing my treatments and playing World of Warcraft as usual. I wasn’t tired at all. In fact, I made the mistake of drinking a large bottle of kombucha, which is made with green tea, shortly after I finished my nebulizer for the night. So I was sitting there wide awake, doing my vest, playing WoW, trying to get myself tired enough to lay down, when a huge dark shadow passed by the corner of my eye. It was dark, solid, and human-shaped, and blocked some of the light by my bed. I paused my game and looked over there, but there was nothing. I even got up and checked around my room and the the rest of the house, to see if my mom was up. But the whole house was dark, and I was completely alone. I was definitely put off by this, because what I saw looked just like a person. I quickly forgot about it and went back to my desk, thinking my eyes were just playing tricks on me. A few moments later, I saw it again. This time I looked over towards my bed right away, but there was nothing there. Once again, I got up and checked around the house, and found nothing.

At this point, I just didn’t want to deal with whatever this shadow thing was, so I closed out my video game, shut my laptop, turned off the lights, and started reading a book with the light from my desk lamp. While I was finishing up a chapter in Steven Rinella’s memoir, I saw what looked like a black german shepherd run past the wall adjacent to me, and slide under my bed.

Now I was nervous, but at the same time, I was very puzzled. My drawers are under my bed, so it’s impossible for anything other than a spider to crawl under there. My dog (who is very small compared to a german shepherd) was still asleep on the foot of my bed, so it couldn’t have possibly been him. Regardless, I got out of bed and looked all around for this black german shepherd thing. I even pulled open my drawers, just to make sure nothing was in there, even though I knew it was impossible for something as big as that shadow to fit inside my drawers without disturbing my recently reorganized laundry. This black shadow couldn’t have gone anywhere else in my room without me noticing. My door was shut, my drawers were undisturbed, my closet was still closed, and there was no wind to blow anything around and make shadows. In fact, there was nothing that could make such a large, solid shadow anywhere. No bugs, no animals, no objects, no wind, no cars driving by (I’m too far underground for headlights to cast shadows in my room anyway), nothing.

So, I just said a prayer out loud, commanding whatever the hell was there to leave me alone in the name of Christ, and went back to reading my book. The rest of my night was comfortable and uneventful.

This morning, on the way to my little brother’s sports camp to drop him off for the day, my mom and I were talking about fun things to do in Florida, while my brother sat in the back seat telling us what he wanted to do in Florida. Suddenly, something sprayed the back of my head and neck with cold water. It felt like someone sprayed me with a hose, and both my hair and window next to me were dripping with water. I instantly glared at my little brother, since I knew he had a water bottle and he often likes to prank me. Both he and my mom looked at me like I was crazy! My mom was watching him through the rear-view mirror, and my brother did not move or squeeze his water bottle. And when I checked the back of my seat as well as the center console to see if those things were wet too, they were both bone dry, which would’ve been impossible if my brother squeezed his water bottle towards me. But my head and back were soaked, and water was also dripping down the window, so we all knew I wasn’t making anything up. I’m also terrible at lying.

We tried debunking it in other ways, but even when I squeezed my brother’s water bottle to see if I could get it to spray out water like I felt, there was only a puff of mist and a few drops of water, and the water bottle was still completely full. I would've had to stomp on it to make it spray out water like I felt. I accused my mom of opening up my window to spray me with the sprinklers while we were at a stoplight (because she likes to prank me like that too), but she didn’t, and the water on the inside of my window proved she didn’t. Plus, I would’ve known if she did, because I was staring out that window and it was closed the whole time, and there were no sprinklers on where we were at. I dug around behind me some more, hoping to find another water source, but there was nothing.

When we finally stopped in the parking lot at my brother’s camp, I tore apart the rest of the car while my mom dropped my brother off. I found no liquid anywhere. I was completely dumbfounded. However, my mom wasn’t as surprised as I was.

She laughed and said it was a demon. I questioned her, and she just told me that clearly what happened was physically impossible, and something else had to do it that wasn’t of this realm. Then she asked me if I was having trouble in other ways, because oftentimes demons can only get powerful enough to do that if something else (such as negative energy) has been feeding it. I finally felt comfortable enough to tell her about everything else that was going on. I thought I was going crazy, but turns out, I’m perfectly sane. My mom hasn’t been experiencing anything lately, but in the past she has. 

She reminded me of the time she played the Ouija board as a teenager, and how the entity from the board messed with her and her family for years. She told me about the time she was going through financial trouble, and she watched her crock pot lid lift up off the pot, shoot towards her, pause in mid-air, make a 180 degree turn, and smash directly into her oven. The oven glass shattered into thousands of pieces, and bounced knee-high for 5 minutes until my mom called out to Jesus, and the glass just stopped. It didn’t lose any momentum like tempered glass should. The glass bits just stuck to the floor as soon as she called on the name of the Lord. She told me about other things that happened to her I haven’t yet known about, including very recent things surrounding her breakup with her boyfriend. That explains why she saged the house with one of her good church friends about a month ago. 

After she told me these things, I was able to relax because, like I said, I thought it was just going crazy. But it turns out I’m perfectly fine and am just vulnerable right now, and need to get spiritually closer to God.

I told my therapist about this stuff as well. She has a doctorate in both theology and psychology, and used to be a preacher before she became a therapist. She asked me why my hair was wet if I didn’t take a shower that morning, so that basically forced me to tell her what happened to me on the way to her office. She told me demons can sense when someone is spiritually vulnerable, and when someone is leaning towards God. Demons don’t mess with people who stray from Christianity, unless they turn to satanism, even if they are spiritually vulnerable. But if someone starts seeking God, or is already a Christian but is spiritually vulnerable, demons will do everything they can to scare those people away from Him. Sometimes, their actions are childish. Sometimes, their actions are scary. Sometimes, their actions are downright dangerous. I’m not at risk of any danger, because I know how to rebuke these things in the name of Christ. But because I still exist in a fallen world, demons can mess with me in other, more ridiculous ways, such as hosing the back of my head down with cold water or putting my jeep keys in the washing machine just as Clarke is pulling up to get them. Irritating? Very. Dangerous? No. Funny? Actually, come to think of it, yes.

To be fair, I have been Googling questionable things while adding more to my Faith piece for the memoir. But I don’t think I came across anything that would have invited something into my house. My mom has books about demons and satanism that have drawings of real satanic symbols in them. While those books are actually written by Christian authors who explain how to get rid of such things and what to look out for, they still have some very unsettling images in them. Plus, I know better than to play with the occult. I’ll never play with a Ouija board, or participate in automatic writing, or anything else like that. That stuff doesn't sit well with me at all. 

Sometimes, things just happen, I guess. There’s not a whole lot I can do to prevent that. I mean, once it happens I can easily get rid of it. But I can’t keep demons out all of the time. I’m not one of those woo-woos who sees angels and demons hiding around every corner, and I don’t attribute every noise and every movement to demons. In fact, as you can tell, I’m very scientifically oriented, and want to debunk my experiences in every possible way. But some things just cannot be naturally explained. There are things beyond us that we’ll never fully understand, and those things can interact with us and the world around us. After all, my hair and back are still wet.

I’ll still continue to add onto and edit my Faith piece. It’s not yet finished, and looking back, my writing from 2 AM several nights ago looks really bad, and needs to be cleaned up and added onto. But I’m not scared of spiritual stuff anymore, whether it’s good or bad. I haven’t been scared of anything that I’ve been experiencing lately. I’m just annoyed by it. When I’m home alone, I expect to be completely left alone, and I need my peace and quiet. I didn’t ask for a demon to irritate me like my little brother when I’m home by myself.

On the bright side, I’m no longer doubting the spiritual realm or my faith in God. For a very long time, I was bouncing back and forth between atheism and Christianity like a ball in a tennis court. I’ve tried to use science, philosophy, and other forms of spirituality to debunk Christianity, but my efforts have been unsuccessful. I’ve also been dealing with quite a lot of worry and anxiety. My dad, who hardly ever gets sick, has a severe case of Strep throat, and my aunt Stacy (my dad’s sister), just lost her boyfriend to suicide. I’m willing to bet my worries have been feeding the entity enough energy so it can mess with me.

Demons have only messed with me a couple others times in my life, which is something I’ll end up talking about in the Faith piece. But they’ve never sprayed me with water like that one did at the intersection on Kipling and Bowles. That one had some serious guts!