Has courtesy died?
A question pondered by many
news people, politicians, celebrities
even the common among us
Lack of courtesy is everywhere.
Politicians yell at each other
and accuse of impropriety
in the name of gaining power
they can never really hold
Students engage in vicious fights
rather than discuss their differences
often over the smallest of slights
To what end? No one wins, really.
Wars are started in the most noncourteous way
Little warning and little if any
discussion of important issues
No attempt to maintain peace and civility.
Instead of celebrating similarity
shouting matches and worse
break out over differences
even when similarities vastly
outnumber differences.
Anger, frustration, denial, and
pressure to see only difference surround us.
We want to do better
but how?
In the 50s and 60s
simple courtesy was drilled
parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles
constantly reminded us to say
please and thank you.
Even to open doors without being asked.
It doesn’t happen any more.
Oh, Courtesy still exists,
we just don’t do it.
Is there reason to bring it back?
Or are we so separated
each in a shell, shielding
from the violence of the world?
Yet try a simple act of kindness.
Hold the door for a stranger
even a person you know.
Watch the quizzical face transform to a smile
Something precious happens
Then try it again,
Thank the barista for the
expensive coffee we all crave
A brief look of astonishment
turns into a smile, making the day brighter.
Treat someone with respect,
deserved or not, and see the result.
Conversation begins
And respect returned.
Indeed, there is no conversation
without respect. Agreement is
not required
just respect and the conversation starts
Without conversation
No solutions can be found
But, there is no conversation
without courtesy.
Courtesy is taking a risk of being rejected.
Sometimes that happens
More often the possibility for conversation
begins, perhaps just a smile.
It is a start. Our role
is to be sure it doesn’t stop.