I was fooling around on YouTube a few minutes ago, and noticed that the Wreck It Ralph 2 trailer had an image of the Disney princesses, in PJ’s, in a slumber-party like room, talking with one of the WIR characters. Since I’ve always daydreamed about the Disney Princesses being friends, and forming a kind of hit team of heroes, I had to watch it. The rendering was good – all of the girls were instantly recognizable – but I had some issues with it.
Namely, that when the girl from Wreck It Ralph was trying to convince them she was a princess, the progression went “Do you have magic hair? Magic hands? Do animals talk to you? Were you poisoned? Cursed? Kidnapped or Enslaved?”, (clearly as a satirical comment on how most Princess stories go, which is irritating, but can’t be argued with), and then “Does everyone assume that all of your problems were solved when a big, strong man showed up?” “YES!” “SHE IS A PRINCESS!!!”
Ok, WAAAIIIITT. While I appreciate the desire/sympathy behind the current strong-female-character movement, I think you’re missing the point with Princesses here, people!
Now, what I am about to embark on is an attempt to put some of my own thoughts and feelings down. I don’t have it all “right”, and I’m sure to tick off a few people, but this is more a way for me to work through what I believe, so please bear with me.
Firstly, you don’t have to solve all of your problems on your own to be strong.
This really irks me. Seriously, sometimes you NEED outside help, and there is nothing wrong with that help coming from a guy, whether it’s offered because he’s just a sweet, honorable man, or because he likes you. Aaron and I have talked about this some, and he says that Chivalry means helping or defending those who can’t help or defend themselves. Since when is there shame in standing up or helping out those who can’t?? And let’s be honest, girls: Black Widow may be awesome, but I am 5’2, weigh 113 pounds, and haven’t taken martial arts since 7th grade. And I’m not the only girl in this situation. If a 6’ creeper comes up to me in a parking garage, I’d better hope I nail him with my pepper spray the first time, because frankly, there’s not much else I can do. OF COURSE I want my brother or my cousin, or a male friend to escort me to my car, because his mere presence is a deterrent, and while I wish that weren’t the case, WHY DOES HOLLYWOOD THINK IT’S WRONG? In an ideal world, girls wouldn’t BE in jeopardy in the first place, but since this is the case, what is wrong with those who have the power helping those who don’t? That is what honor means.
Second: wrong kind of strength
Story culture at the moment seems to be fixated on the idea that the only kind of strength is physical, and that since Princesses don’t have that, they must be weak. I think they are using a very narrow definition of strength here. Princesses have always touched my heart, I think because they each have a unique kind of strength.
Cinderella endures years of what is little more than slavery, but rather than becoming embittered or imprisoned by it, she faces each morning with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart. She does her best to be kind, and courteous, and while most of us want to smack her step-family upside the head, she endures. She endures hardship, and rather than let it take her captive in hatred and bitterness, she refuses the temptation and spreads sunlight wherever she can. AND, when offered a way out, she takes it (though I do feel obliged to point out that marriage to a stranger to escape a horrible home situation usually ends badly in real life). This is not weakness. This is endurance, and intense strength of spirit and hope and an ability to forgive that I cannot fathom. This is not weakness, people. This is the most intense strength possible.
Belle, (despite the whole Stockholm-syndrome thing that really killed the story once I understood it), displays similar strength. She journeys alone through a dark forest in search of her father, sacrifices her life for his, not out of duty, but out of love, and comes to the see Beast as more than a monster, but as a person, a person who is hurting, and who is capable of selflessness. Keep in mind, in the Disney version, their relationship doesn’t change until he rescues her from the wolves (because, let’s face it, while she did admirably with a dead branch, a stick only does so much), and their relationship doesn’t really develop until he lets her go home, setting his own needs and desires aside for hers (and that’s what love is). Her Love (in the Harry Potter sense) and ability to see beyond appearance is what breaks the curse.
Mulan isn’t strong because she carries a sword or fights bad-guys. What makes her strong is that she fights for her family, even though she isn’t suited to the one way a woman is allowed to fight for her family at the time – through a good marriage that will bring her family honor. It’s not who she is, but she tries it anyway, because she loves them. And when her father is called to battle, it is her own sense of justice and love for her father, the only one who truly understands her, that leads her to take her father’s armor, and run away from home. For those of you who missed it, the punishment if she got caught was death. But she doesn’t get caught (until later), and she saves her people, and she learns to endure and persevere, and stand strong for those she loves. THAT is strength, people.
But what about Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, you ask? Well, as I’ve only seen Sleeping Beauty once, and Snow White not at all, I can only say so much, but I would like to point out that Snow White shows immense courage and endurance. She gets chased out by a jealous step-mother who wants to murder her, and finds help and refuge with those kind enough to offer it to her, and forms a new life with the strangers who helped her. That’s not easy, people. And Sleeping Beauty? I’ll admit Aurora doesn’t do much in the Disney version. But it’s the only Disney fairy-tale where the Prince fights for his princess. PHILIP FACES DOWN A DRAGON to rescue Aurora, AND WINS. Since when is a man brave enough and loving enough and selfless enough to take down the dragon that holds his girl captive a bad thing? Seriously, SINCE WHEN??? There’s only so much an unconscious girl can do, so he comes to her rescue, and risks his life to do so. That’s not sexism, people. That’s courage. Courage and love and sacrifice.
Even what they said in the Wreck It Ralph trailer, about Magic Hair, or Hands, or Talking Animals isn’t what defines a princess. Those aren’t even the meat of the story. Those are obstacles, or special powers, either to be overcome, or used to help overcome a greater tragedy. These are women who are faced with intense hardship, and who weather it, are polished by it, and grow in and exemplify courage, endurance, love, and sacrifice. Attributes we need in our own lives, perhaps now more than ever. That is the true Power of Princesses – that they teach us how to be, and that their stories, real or fictional, give us the courage to carry on, and the hope of a happiness yet to come.