First version posted on old Writers website on Monday, 08 January 2018
Reposted on current site (finally!!!) 5-2-19
Dedicated to all the highschoolers (and my college buddies, too).
Hello!
Since I feel like I've learned a LOT in the last couple of years, I thought I'd start a list of tips and tricks for, well, surviving. Some of them may be geared toward Managing Perfectionism, others towards handling ADD - or just getting through a day. Some day, maybe, I will put them in some kind of order. Until then, I will post things as I think of them, in the hopes that they will help you, as much as they have helped me. Enjoy!
- The To-Do List
To-Do lists can be very helpful when trying to snatch 1001 important things out of a mental whirlwind and lock them down long enough to sort through what is urgent and what isn't, and what needs to be done Right Now, as well as what is simple and what is complicated.
- My phone. My phone not only came with a beautiful note-taking/making app, but it can also create check-boxes! I can tap it to cross off an item, and tap it again to uncross it!! It's so satisfying!!! It also saves on 3x5 cards. Like, a lot. Not to mention that my phone is almost always with me, so if I think of a thing in the middle of doing something else, I can make a quick note of it, then get back to what I was doing
- Small, concrete steps.
- "Clean bedroom" is alarming to look at, and not very specific. The ENTIRE ROOM?? At what point is it done?? What if I can only get halfway through? Does that still count? I mean, not really, because I'll have to do the rest later - DOES THAT MEAN I FAILED??!!! *Perfectionism screams*.
- On the other hand, "Fold laundry. Put away. Put dirty clothes in hamper where they belong. Go through papers on desk - what keeping, what throwing?" is much more manageable. I can fold laundry. That's not too hateful. And then I can check it off! Hah! I accomplished something!! And look - when I put the dirty clothes in the now-empty hamper, I have accomplished another thing! I am succeeding!!! See the difference? Plus, even if I don't get as far as "Vacuum floor", I can still prove that I accomplished something: I put in effort, and the desired outcome (laundry is off of floor) came to pass.
This leads to point 2: The Importance of Psychology.
I'm not kidding. Learning to manipulate your own psychology is the key to success. Yeah, I know that sounds weird, but look at the differences in the two paragraphs above. In the 1st scenario, the seeming impossibility of the task weighs me down before I can start. The inability to cross it off makes me feel like I've put all kinds of effort into something, and in the end it made no difference. I feel like I Failed (possibly the dirtiest, Evil-est word in the Perfectionist's language). And if I'm a Failure, what's the point of trying? I will never make it! See? Now I am depressed, angry, and frustrated, and likely to snap at anyone who tries to speak to me. Contrast this to scenario 2: I have accomplished not one, but TWO tasks that needed to be done, I did them quickly, and my room looks much better. I am Efficient, Productive, and Worthwhile. I am Worth something, and I am Capable. I will come downstairs for dinner humming and smiling, and will be a pleasant companion at the dinner table, the embodiment of sunshine, instead of the brooding cloud I was before.
The difference? How I set up and approached my To-Do List.
"A Spoonful of Sugar" or, "Battling Ascetism"
Hello! Ready for more Tips and Tricks? I will warn you, first, that I have two different versions of this section in my head, and I don't know which will come out, so be prepared for some interesting writing.
Today's Subject: Reward and Motivation.
I have a confession to make: I have a tendency towards Ascetism, which (if I'm using it correctly) is basically the idea that being miserable builds character/holiness, and so deliberately making yourself miserable is a good thing. Or, in my case, removing everything I enjoy will make me more motivated to do things I hate. Wait...
See an issue in that sentence? Why on earth would getting rid of every bit of enjoyment make me want to do something I hate? It's not going to make me like the things I hate more, it's just going to get rid of all the stuff I like and make me miserable. And, for ascetists out there, misery is not what builds character, it's learning to persevere and find joy WITHIN/ DESPITE the misery that builds character, and there is plenty of misery out there to learn on/in without you adding more for yourself.
I'm serious. After nearly 23 years of testing this philosophy, I have found that I am more motivated and more likely to get things done, accomplish tasks quickly and clearly with a good attitude, when I'm cheerful/ happy. So making myself miserable is not helping. Conclusion: Do more of what I enjoy, and use that to power me through the stuff I hate/really don't want to do right now. Mary Poppins has known this for years:
"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go dowwwn, medicine go down..."
So, practically speaking, what does this look like?
- Take time for things you enjoy. Especially when you're stressed. I know this sound counter-intuitive - "you have three assignments and two major tests due in a 3 day period and you want me to stop and do a fun thing? I don't have time! Fun things are extras!" No, they're not: they are Sanity Necessities. By all means, study and work on your projects. Work on them straight through the evening. And then, at 10 pm tonight, quit. Watch TV, read your current novel, text your friends, play Minecraft. This is your time to enjoy yourself, no Work allowed. You will awake more charged and refreshed tomorrow morning than if you had tried to pull an all-nighter, and with a better ability to get things done tomorrow. (I know, because I tested it.)
- Brain Breaks and Body Breaks
Your body is not created to sit at a desk (or anything else) and work on one thing for six hours straight. It simply WILL NOT FUNCTION that way. You need breaks for your brain to recharge. There are two kinds: Brain Breaks and Body Breaks.
Body breaks are because you have a body that was built to move. We are descended from hunters and farmers, people who are continually moving throughout the day. You will work more effectively if you get up and move around every so often. Generally, if I find myself pacing for the third time in a row when I'm supposed to be reading biochemistry, my body probably needs a movement break. This would be a good time to take a walk, run though my old dance warm ups, or something similar, since I'm not getting studying done anyway. This generally works better than interrupting myself during a focus-streak because my "get up and move" timer went off.
Brain Breaks are because the biochemistry of your brain was not designed (or evolved, take your pick) to focus on one thing for hours at a time (unless it's something you really love, and even then, you're pushing it). It needs a chance to stop and do something else, preferably something fun. This would be a good time to spend 15 minutes (DO set a timer for this one!) on YouTube, or 30 minutes on that novel you've been waiting for. Simply sitting and staring at the wall while you eat lunch (ie, absence of work) does not count as a Brain Break. You need to recharge your brain, not simply quit using it. Instead, read that hilarious webcomic while you eat, or find a group of friends you can hang out with (<- THIS IS A HUGE DEAL FOR FOCUS AND MOTIVATION, I CANNOT STRESS IT ENOUGH).
Ideally, if you can combine your brain and body breaks, that IS the most efficient way to do it. Let me know if you do - I'm still working on that part.
These breaks will recharge your "grunt work tolerance" and let you power through things that have to be done.
- Charge During Use
Just as charging your cellphone overnight does not guarantee it will make it through the next day, sometimes B&B breaks aren't enough. You're working on something so tedious, or so pressing, that a B&B simply won't cover it - much like the way your phone battery drops and dies when you try to stream videos. This is when you break out the equivalent of your charging cable: your favorite epic study music, or turn what you are learning into a game. I also find that colored pens and markers help - bright colors are far more fun and cheerful than boring, gray pencil lead, and can keep me focused and cheerful.
- Games
Technically these fall under "Charge During Use", but it's a big category. If you can turn something tedious into a game, it's much more fun and you are much more likely to do it well and quickly. This is why I like doing online quizzes for rote-memory material. Other people get more creative (I seem to recall Nerf dart vocabulary matching while growing up), but my favorite method is to award Points. You see, I am a very prize-motivated person, so if every correct answer (or flashcard) is 2 points, and every 100 points is a dollar I can spend at the bookstore, you'd be surprised how much money I can earn - uh, I mean stuff I can get done - in an hour.
IF you are going to go with a reward system, though, make sure you follow through. If $15.00 means a trip to the bookstore TAKE THE TIME TO TAKE THE TRIP. The reward system only works as long as the small-child part of your brain believes it's actually going to get its reward. You don't have to use the bookstore, though. Every 5 points could be 5 minutes on Star Wars: Battlefront II, or a completed Evolution and Ecology reading could be worth a donut at Tim Horton's. JUST MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW THROUGH (and please, if you've earned it, you have no reason to feel guilty about the time or money you are spending on your prize. Remember that).
The other key to using a reward system, though, is the make the prizes frequent and feel attainable. A donut when I finish my research paper is not enough for such a large, long task, and it's not going to motivate me. A donut when I finish the Introduction, however, IS an attainable reward. This is why I tend to go with the points system - if every section I finish is worth 50 cents (or, if I'm desperate, a dollar), then I can go on and on, as long as I mark down all the cash I'm racking up, and actually follow through with the bookstore trip. You, however, are creative, and I'm sure you can come up with a cheaper-yet-effective reward system. If you do, please let me know.
Ok, I'm outta time for today (and words, actually), so I wish you all well! Keep working hard!
~ Megan