As I finish the last graded assignment, I lean back, stretch my arms wide and sigh. Finally I am caught up!
We have all had that moment, probably many times. But, it isn’t true. Life keeps moving. Our real goal isn’t to catch up. Instead it is to no longer be behind. That way we can move at life’s pace rather than feeling crushed by always flying forward, running into tasks that weren’t done or messages forgotten from last week.
Still, it is a good feeling to finally dig out from a pile of papers and worksheets so I can focus on the needs of my students and the next set. And, of course, if I wait ten minutes, that next set is starting to arrive. If I am lucky, I can handle them one at a time, in little bursts of activity instead of a weekend buried under the mountain.
Over the last two weeks, I have been buried under a load of classes and students that looked impossible. It was overwhelming. And on top of that, as a new teacher in the system, I don’t yet have access to many of the communication tools and much of the basic information that a person familiar with the system has. The challenge has been frustrating to me and to my supervisors.
Still, this morning for an hour, I had that feeling – I was caught up. Now I could begin to focus on my students needs. I knew it was fleeting, but I felt some of the tension in my shoulders lessen, my headache was gentler (not gone, but going).
Those I work with in this virtual environment don’t realy expect me to be on top of everything. After all, I am new to the system and instead of a gradual introduction and ramp up, I was suddenly working with 75 students across ten courses ranging from 7th grade math to AP Calculus. It has been a challenging couple of weeks, learning three content management systems and several email and voice systems (most of which are not working yet). I am not an expert, yet. That would make it so easy. But, I feel like I am getting the hang of things. I have even begun to reach out to individual students needing help and encouragement.
It feels good. I am not satisfied, but it is a start. And being able to stretch my arms and sigh, if even for a moment was all I needed to regain some motivation – just in time to answer another question and grade the papers that have come in today. It doesn’t end. But perhaps the next mound will only be a small hill and not so challenging.
The goal isn’t to catch up. It is to maintain an even pace with life.