When something takes over your life, everything is a challenge. All you focus on is that thing. Some will say “its just dedication.” But it isn’t.

It becomes obsession and you start to miss things, especially as they relate to other people. Oh...you don’t mean to be that way – ignoring signs or being “short” with others. But it happens anyway.

Today, my obsession is finding work. I am not desperate...yet. But, I will be by the end of the month. So, the panic isn’t really justified. Still, it’s there in the back of my mind (and the front of my email account).

I get hundreds of job recommendations in my inbox – most are repeats. Every now and then, I find one or two to follow.

Forty or so have been worth following, so far. And, I have. To this point, four have declined. And no interviews have been found. Some apps are because I need something. Some would be really great – challenge that uses all of my skills and history. But, they are silent.

And, so it is an obsession.

Being concerned and working steadily is good. But letting it take over? I don’t like it. I have to remember balance and prayer and others. I have to support others. If I don’t, then perhaps my very humanity is at risk, at least for the moment.

Is it worth it?